Position of Privilege is a Reward Enough? | Tanvii.com - Indian Fashion, Lifestyle and Travel Blog

Position of Privilege is a Reward Enough?

Leheria Saree Shot At City Center
The pictures in this post were taken last year.

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things that do fall under the jurisdiction… I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life — whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

Elizabeth Gilbert continues to be one of those authors whose words always resonate with me. Whenever I am struggling to express myself or trying to put a feeling into words, there is always a quote or two from her which says is better than I could ever do. This is how I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks. 

Ever since the Labor Day weekend, I have been engulfed with a sense of loss. This is usually the exact time of the year when I travel. And now looking back at this whole year, I have done nothing from that 'past life' (aka pre-COVID) - I have not traveled, I have not met friends and family, I have not done outdoor activity that used to bring me joy. 

A friend tried to reason with me with that, 'haven't you been reading, and baking, and working-out?' ... but the truth is I had always been doing that! Early on in my professional life I had realized that I want to work so that I can lead my life and not live to work. I clearly remember the day I decided to make myself the priority and not any job or work. It was way back in 2005 and I was having a drink with a friend (back when I lived in London). Hence, ever since I have strived for balance in my daily life. I always-always made time for my hobbies and passions. Not monthyl or even weekly, I made time for myself daily. I carved out an hour or two to just do things that bring me pure joy. But during COVID my whole life became about those daily activities, taking away the reward I gave myself for living this disciplined-balance-life: TRAVEL!

So the loss I was/am feeling is for that reward I feel I deserve, and have not received this year. But then ... may be surviving, being healthy, and writing this post from a position of privilege is a reward enough?!

Photography via Natasha / @_nhphotoz
Leheria Saree Shot At City Center Leheria Saree Shot At City Center Leheria Saree Shot At City Center Leheria Saree Shot At City Center Leheria Saree Shot At City Center
Location - Washington D.C.
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24 comments

  1. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I have literally only been outside a handful of times since the start of this. I've been stuck indoors for one reason or another... severe allergies, broken toes and now fires/hazardous air quality. Our state (especially my county) is still in strict lockdown mode. Nearly everything is closed. We had to cancel all trips for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. We had a cross country trip planned for my husband's family (probably the last family trip they would take together) and we couldn't go. I'm hoping we can even plan one last trip with my little brother before he leaves for the navy. It's such a weird time right now and most days, I'm okay and try to keep myself busy but others make me super emotional. I'm so ready for this to be over. Sorry I write a novel haha1 Just letting you know that you're not alone. Glad you have found a good work/life balance :-) I'm going through that process as we speak.

    Lizzie
    www.lizzieinlace.com

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  2. I feel this privilege but I also allow myself to feel the loss of seeing family and being able to travel and have a sense of normalcy. I miss that. And it’s necessary for me to acknowledge that loss. It’s a struggle.

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  3. #RelateMax to this post! :)
    I enjoy (mostly) the work I do and like it as well, but nothing comes between me and my idea of living a 'life'. I have been pretty much able to follow all my hobbies which I usually also get time to do through this extended period of isolation. They have been a handy and necessary kit. But at the same time I feel an immense, palpable sense of loss which is difficult to describe or put a finger on. I guess it's the loss of control on simple acts like going out for a stroll or run.

    Anywho, we are vibing so much today! first twitter now here :)

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  4. Love this post and truly enjoyed reading it as this has been a tough year for sure... for everyone. II also just have to throw in here that I love your pictures and you look beautiful in the flowing blue outfit! I appreciate your sharing and will be back to enter this giveaway as well :) very Cool!

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  5. I think in some shape or form we all have experience some loss during this time and that's different for everyone. While I feel fortunate, I do miss certain aspect or things that had made life a little easier or happier.

    www.rdsobsessions.com

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  6. This year has been so strange and out of the ordinary. It feels so weird to not travel but the extra time with my family has been great. Hopefully we can get some "normalcy" back soon!

    xoxo,
    Kim

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  7. I definitely feel the privilege and I also love my work and it doesn't feel like work at all...That being said, i couldn't travel this year at all and I surely miss it.

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  8. Wow! What a post... i can feel and think of so many people while i was reading your post who use to reward themseleves by travelling. This year has been certainly a reward for me for all my manifestations i believe. I had asked for full time WFH o got it, we had travelled a lot last year so had no plans of travelling internationally this year. After so many years we are going to have our own abode which we are building.. so for me i think 2020 could not have been better than this

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  9. Not being able to travel this year has been so.. sad. I don't even know how to put the feeling into words. But, I'm looking forward to being able to travel again and to spend time with friends and family.

    Rachel
    www.hello-her.com

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  10. I completely understand what you're saying. I mourned the year at the begining of the summer for all the trips I had to cancel, weddings that were postponed and babies it would take a while for me to meet. I hope we don't take life for granted when this is all said and done!

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  11. It is a loss of freedom that we are all experiencing - and in that comes a strange new sense of community. Yes, the hugs may virtual, but one day when world re-opens its doors... watch out!

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  12. I think you captured the sentiment many may be feeling, myself included. Working from home well before covid, my daily routines didn't change much but summers have always been the time I get away so this post hit home. Think I finally made peace with myself that 2020 is canceled, lol. Great post, xoxo, Sarah

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  13. I'm sorry you're feeling that sense of loss when it comes to traveling. I can imagine that's really difficult since you've come to consider that your reward for the hard work you put in. I've seen a lot of people dealing with that, and my heart breaks for them. I don't travel often - and rarely outside of my state - because of financial struggles, but I still miss the adventure as well!

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  14. At the beginning of quarantine, I was so sad but I didn’t realize I was. For my bday in March we always take an epic trip. This year we were going to Greece and Egypt. Of course, they were canceled. I travel a LOT. It’s been hard but I came to terms with everything now. It’s definitely difficult. I’m grateful for my health but it’s okay to have other feeling as well.
    Xx Emely

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  15. i totally get where you are coming from. we've just recently began venturing out more ourselves here.

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  16. These are tough days to continuously appreciate what we have or can do. For a few weeks or even months, it might work to focus on the new benefits, the realized privilege, and the extra time for self care, etc. But as time marches on, the loss of travel, socializing, and making money - and the additional anxiety about the virus and the future makes it tough to appreciate the good and be content. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of the good...

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  17. This has been the longest year every. I know the impact of Covid has touched millions, but i do miss my family trips and vacation that were missed.

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  18. We have also been bummed out about not being able to travel as planned. Eagerly awaiting the ban to be lifted.

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  19. I understand completely. Travel has become essential to me, too, and our inability to enjoy it is crushing. Hang in there.

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  20. I don't travel often, but I hate that you feel this way. Travelling is definitely fun and things suck right now. Hang in there, girl!

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  21. It surely is difficult for all of us. I hope you all hang in there and do your best.

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  22. I do feel privilage to do the work I love at the safty of my home when in lock down, but not being able to travel was a huge loss for me as we are traveling family.

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  23. Covid is ruling the world, definitely hard times in this chaotic world (among the other things). Once this is over I can just picture the burst of social parties and tons of travelers taking off and enjoying every minute of life NOT taking anything for granted.
    Great giveaway too! I want to win!

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  24. I hear this a lot that we are privileged to be in a better/ comfortable position when I try to share my feelings. During this covid ,sometimes Life feels monotonous with almost same routine. Don't know how is situation there but here we have started going outdoors to less touristy/ quite places and not just stay shut at home. Being privileged doesn't mean we ignore our feelings/ longing. We can acknowledge it and start from small steps though it's still not going to be same like pre covid :)

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