How To Avoid Conflict In Conversations | Tanvii.com - Indian Fashion, Lifestyle and Travel Blog

How To Avoid Conflict In Conversations

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This year more than ever I have found my belief in the following statement to get stronger than ever -
change starts from inside out. As adults most of us know that all we have control over is our own thoughts and actions. 

Remaining of this year I have decided to focus on how “I” can improve and change before I dish out advice or make remarks about how the world is not showing up. Any clarity of thought is a double edged sword though because if I have the insights to see what I lack, I also happen to be perceptive enough to see what people around me lack or can improve upon. 

While I am never the one to preach, I do like to having a civil conversation about the things that are important to me. With the world where it is that has become difficult task to do when encountered with extremism, misinformation, or even just other people’s anger or unwillingness to be empathetic. Social issues, interpersonal differences, and politics everything is polarized today. You cannot even discuss art and movies without running the odds of offending someone or the other.

One of my personal goals in life is to be able to achieve a state of peace in the face of such conflicts. There have been a few times when I have been able to keep a level head while also clearly communicate my opinions, even when they were being challenged. But before I chalk it down as an achievement I want to have repeated success for at least next six months so that I can rest assured that it has indeed becomes second nature. 

In public interest though, I am sharing some of my responses which have helped me avoid conflict while still letting me maintain my self-respect and dignity:
  1. When someone asks me an inappropriate question, I ask back: "what do you think?" before reacting.
  2. When someone shares something which is absurd or absolute bullshit in my opinion, I give a placid reply: "interesting!"
  3. When someone makes a request to which I instinctively want to say, “No!” I instead say: "Let me think about it"
  4. When someone I like makes an offbeat remark, instead of getting mad or defensive, I ask: “Why did you say that?
  5. When someone is adamant about their opinion which I don’t share, I respond: “I don’t agree with you, but I don’t have the bandwidth right now to share my thoughts either.
Is this something you have had to struggle with? Do you have any level-headed responses to share with me? Leave them in the comments below. 

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These pictures were taken during pre-COVID times!

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29 comments

  1. Amazing insights!!! I have a job in sales, these tips really help a lot manage a difficult client. Thank you...

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  2. This is such a helpful post! It's hard to know what to say when some is out of line or offensive. But these are polite responses that get the point across <3 Definitely saving!

    Lizzie
    www.lizzieinlace.com

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  3. These are great tips to avoid confict. Especially during a family event or holiday!

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  4. This is so good! I just had to take a screenshot of your responses. Now I just need to remember to use these when I’m in a conflicting conversation.

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  5. This is so good! I just had to take a screenshot of your responses. Now I just need to remember to use these when I’m in a conflicting conversation.

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  6. Aaahhh.. This is what I needed! I also see how your suggestion focus more on responding than reacting �� great tips.. And I don't see why this wouldn't help anyone.. Thanks for sharing it. I'll go through your suggestions few times to record and fine tune my mind to start practicing ����

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  7. My lawyer friend avoids conflict my saying "It's not convenient for me right now". I love that line.

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  8. I like your perspectives on how to avoid conflict in conversations. I like to use diplomacy and reality when settling disputes :) - Dan "Jay" Reyes

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  9. You are so right! Things are often assumed during conversations, instead of us asking questions and learning what their intentions really are.

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  10. This is sooo helpful! And how wonderfully and precisely written. Thank u! I think m gonna bookmark this to refer to in times of need

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  11. I'm a people pleaser but am trying to do better about being honest and forthright in a way that feels good to me. I like the 'interesting'

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  12. Good thoughts....we use this occasionally but..now I will screenshot this and use this most of the times...sometimes I will like to pick battles and argue too

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  13. It seems strange in the early morning to read such deep and interesting words, but it is precisely the moment of the day that I prefer for deep writings that inspire me and push me to think and dwell on such thoughts. They make my day better.

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  14. Very important talent, especially now in our polarized society where protecting health (mask) is viewed as a political act. I encourage you to develop this skill. It will prove very useful.

    In all humility, I've gotten it down to a science. Mostly because I had to. When you're vastly smarter than everyone you meet and have core beliefs separating you from the mainstream, the ability to do this is life or death. I manage to stay alive. I can exist comfortably in the presence of stupid or evil people. I've had to.

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  15. Thoughtful and pragmatic suggestions! They might save strangers or a married couple from a verbal duel!
    About response I use is "Maybe..." It can mean anything and it defers conflict.
    BTW, you look gorgeous!

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  16. This is such a great resource during these times where world events have people taking hard sides. Thanks for sharing! xoxo, Sarah

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  17. This is such a great resource girl friend - thank you for putting this together. Conflict is honestly my biggest fear/worry. I absolutely hate it so I will definitely be referring to this.

    xo Laura Leigh
    https://louellareese.com

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  18. I always find myself in situations at work where I have to tell myself to calm down. These responses are good.

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  19. This is such a great blog post and so relevant with everything going on in the world right now. Thank you for sharing!

    xoxo,
    Kim

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  20. Just like you, I find it important to work on the way I respond to others, rather than just expressing how I'm feeling at that moment in time. I think it's good that you're processing this and sharing your journey.

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  21. I have been struggling with this .. sometimes when someone makes an offbeat remark I try to explain or change their opinion about me , this worst..and later I think to myself people only accept what they want to hear not what you want to say ,why bother wasting your time and energy.
    I am going to write these points somewhere . So helpful , thank you.

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  22. The bright color dress looks super pretty on the water and blue sky backdrop. Love how flare the dress is and really cool to watch you wearing in the summer.

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  23. Great tips. I work in Human resources and we are thought from the get go how to avoid conflict with difficult employees.

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  24. Great tips, I like the idea of defecting the question back to the person asking. I bet that can really difuse the stuation. Mich x

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  25. Gorgeous photos!! And so appreciate your tips - especially during this time when there is so much conflict in the world!

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  26. These are great tips! I definitely do the same thing and ask what they think before I give my response.

    www.rdsobsessions.com

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  27. These tips are great and extremely helpful for when you're in a supervisory role like I am! Thanks for sharing.

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  28. These are perfect! Especially during these hard times. I will be implementing some of these myself.

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  29. these are great tips! i've tried to be more introspective first before I respond as well.

    kileen
    cute & little

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