
The words we tell ourselves have a real impact on how we think and act. For most women, those words are often self-defeating phrases like “I am fat” or “I am a failure.” It has taken me a while but I am finally at a place where I love myself. No external image or opinion affects my view of myself. I am at peace with all my imperfections and weaknesses. This state of mind has made me feel so much calmer and in control of my anxiety and emotions. Here are some ways in which I reached here:
The words we tell ourselves have a real impact on how we think and act. For most women, those words are often self-defeating phrases like “I am fat” or “I am a failure.” It has taken me a while but I am finally at a place where I love myself. No external image or opinion affects my view of myself. I am at peace with all my imperfections and weaknesses. This state of mind has made me feel so much calmer and in control of my anxiety and emotions. Here are some ways in which I reached here:
Learn to shut out the outside world
Today we are constantly connected to the outside world. Everything is at our fingertips. Quite literally. I have learned to make time for myself which is social media and technology free. I have disabled all notifications. There is nothing at all quite as urgent that it needs my immediate attention. And when it does, I check on the required platform myself. I spend more time with my books, or watch movies and enjoy my home which I have spent years putting together.
Today we are constantly connected to the outside world. Everything is at our fingertips. Quite literally. I have learned to make time for myself which is social media and technology free. I have disabled all notifications. There is nothing at all quite as urgent that it needs my immediate attention. And when it does, I check on the required platform myself. I spend more time with my books, or watch movies and enjoy my home which I have spent years putting together.
Set boundaries
Again with mobile technology and social media, not only can I see what everyone else is doing, I also feel I am not doing enough. One skill I have acquired in the last two years is 'to say no!'. Saying 'No' to invites, favors, lazy requests helps me prioritize my own needs and responsibilities. The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. While FOMO — fear of missing out — is a real sentiment among most millennials, not every little activity or conversation is as important as your self-care.
Again with mobile technology and social media, not only can I see what everyone else is doing, I also feel I am not doing enough. One skill I have acquired in the last two years is 'to say no!'. Saying 'No' to invites, favors, lazy requests helps me prioritize my own needs and responsibilities. The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. While FOMO — fear of missing out — is a real sentiment among most millennials, not every little activity or conversation is as important as your self-care.
Create a self-care routine
Self-care has been my numero uno. Sundays are dedicated for all things-personal-care. I workout 6 times a week for an hour. I read before bedtime. I am not regular but I do try and meditate and stretch whenever possible. And all of this has been crucial for me, in order to avoid mental and physical burnout.
Self-care has been my numero uno. Sundays are dedicated for all things-personal-care. I workout 6 times a week for an hour. I read before bedtime. I am not regular but I do try and meditate and stretch whenever possible. And all of this has been crucial for me, in order to avoid mental and physical burnout.
Date yourself
As young women we are always told that we need multiple relationships — platonic or not — to fulfill our needs. But, as Diane von Fürstenberg says, “the most important relationship you have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself.” So instead of making plans with friends or dates every weekend, I watch a movie, and go out for coffee by myself. Scheduling meaningful time with myself has been a revelation.
As young women we are always told that we need multiple relationships — platonic or not — to fulfill our needs. But, as Diane von Fürstenberg says, “the most important relationship you have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself.” So instead of making plans with friends or dates every weekend, I watch a movie, and go out for coffee by myself. Scheduling meaningful time with myself has been a revelation.
Let go of toxic people
Last but not the least, I have gotten rid of anyone who was not bringing me joy or giving me respect I deserved. Healthy relationships are about mutual contributions and positive connections. So, when a friend or colleague brings out the worst in you, it’s time to move on. While there is a stigma around breaking up with friends, one lesson have learnt along the way is that you can either set some boundaries, or let the friendship fade gradually, or cut if off once and for all. Pick which ever options feels best to you.
And that's all I have got it. And take it from someone who faked loving herself for two-third of her present life (aka me!) - once you truly start loving yourself life gets so much easier and better. You feel content and at peace every-single-day.
And that's all I have got it. And take it from someone who faked loving herself for two-third of her present life (aka me!) - once you truly start loving yourself life gets so much easier and better. You feel content and at peace every-single-day.
Blouse - Elizabeth & James // Similar
Pants - Bespoke // Another Option
Shoes - Steve Madden // Same
Bag - Art for Fashion // Another Option
Shawl - Inherited from Mom // Another Option
Blouse - Elizabeth & James // Similar
Pants - Bespoke // Another Option
Shoes - Steve Madden // Same
Bag - Art for Fashion // Another Option
Shawl - Inherited from Mom // Another Option
A self care routine and setting boundaries are ones in my "working on" items. Thanks for a great post. Enjoyed it. Loved those pants! Beautiful
ReplyDeleteI agree with all these tips 100%. I have practiced these tips and it just has a positive impact on my life!
ReplyDeletewww.rdsobsessions.com
Love all your ways to love yourself! These are such great tips, also loving your pants!!
ReplyDeleteXOXO
Cathy
I completely agree with you on all of your tips. All simple steps but crucial and sometimes difficult ones. Thanks for this important read.
ReplyDeleteKate
fashionablykateandcompany.com
Loving the shawl inherited from your mom. And I also love the tip of shutting out the outside world.
ReplyDeletewww.ohtobeamuse.com
I love meaningful posts like these, it's never a bad idea for a "love yourself" reminder. Thanks for sharing babe!
ReplyDeleteI think letting go of toxic people is one of the best ways you could love yourself and lead a happy, healthy life. Surrounding yourself with positive people who make you better is what I try to do. Not always easy, but is what I aim for. Thanks for the great tips!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a yes to letting go of toxic people. I know I am guilty of wanting to hold on to people that I've known for a while, but I've had to stop and ask myself what value are you adding to my life now. If I can't answer that, then it's time to move on.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely something which needs to be considered, sometimes we feel the need to know everything do everything right that we lose the time for ourselves!! Very well written Tanvi !! 👌👌 N as usual u look amazing!
ReplyDeleteLove these five, but can I add a sixth? #6-Accept yourself completely (flaws and imperfections included) <3
ReplyDeleteI'm currently trying to date myself and have learned so much about who I really am versus who I thought I was. These are such great tips :)
ReplyDelete-xo, Azanique | www.lotsofsass.com
so much yes to all of this! boundaries are so necessary for our own well being!
ReplyDeleteThese are awesome tips babe! Love the one that says date yourself!! So true, it's so therapeutic and empowering to spend time with yourself!
ReplyDeleteKileen
cute & little
Spot on, well said Tanvi. I am, and always will be, my very own best friend. If we let other shape us according to their belief systems and ideals, then we will always be a pale, washed out version of us. That's a prison I never want to be in. And those "other" include strangers we meet on Social Media. Grab onto that beautiful, strong soul of yours, and never let her go. She will always be the one constant throughout your life.
ReplyDeleteLovely post, as a woman in my 20s I think we tend to just not really take care of ourselves and do not often say no or have boundaries. Thank you for this
ReplyDeleteAgree with all this tips dear!! love it
ReplyDeletexx
Mónica Sors
MES VOYAGES À PARIS
NEW POST: THE TREND: PLUFFY COAT
These are all such great tips! Letting go of toxic people is so important!
ReplyDeletexx Mollie
The social media world is tough, love your tips here! and those pants are awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing! Love all of these tips!
ReplyDeleteXO-Lisa
www.thatssodarling.com
These were five great ideas for ways to love yourself. I like the idea of dating yourself!
ReplyDeleteI loooove these! I love the ones about shutting out the outside world and set boundaries. Not that any of the other points are less important, because I also love them, but I really relate to these two.
ReplyDeleteI need to unplug and get away from it all. Usually the weekends I check Facebook WAY LESS and by Sunday night I've got about 100 notifications. Facebook is the worst. I have to separate from it sometimes because I'm easily influenced by other people and while I'm working on that issue I just can't surround myself with negativity. Which ties in with your last point. These are really great, thank you for posting this :)
Yes yes yes to all these tips, the only way for a happier, calmer and less dramatic life. You have to love yourself before you love others. I didn't love myself in anyway during my last relationship, since being single I've embraced all that I am and have completely transformed. Its so important and so easy to overlook but it does a lot for a women, I believe. I don't think I've ever read a post from you and disagreed! Also - those trousers are absolutely gorgeous!!
ReplyDeleteYou look absolutely gorgeous Tanvi, love those pants, so pretty and the shawl is such great addition to the whole look. As always, love your post and I agree with all the points you mentioned. I have started my journey of self-care this year and as time passes, I sure am feeling at peace inside. Such a different feeling but very satisfying it is.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite tip is probably to Date Yourself. I think that chasing after my dreams and passions is part of what keeps my relationship so fresh, and what me feeling fulfilled. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThese are really great tips for improving your life - particularly letting go of toxic people, as controversial as it may seem. Sometimes letting go is all you need to do to let a load off your shoulders!
ReplyDelete#4 Thank You for these words of wisdom. They truly remind me of how important it is to live life from the inside out and that love begins with the most pivotal and the most influential person in my life: me. 💕 Xo, Evelyn, PathofPresence 🦋
ReplyDeleteThis is really great advice. Self-love is something I’ve really been focusing on for the last six months are so. You are your most important and long-lasting relationship, so you should invest in yourself.
ReplyDeleteYes! Tanvi, you are reading my mind :" I am finally at a place where I love myself. No external image or opinion affects my view of myself. I am at peace with all my imperfections and weaknesses." That is exactly how I feel, and it also took me long to realize, I love myself unconditionally. If I lose weight or gain weight, if I lose a leg or if whatever can happen to me, on't make me stop loving myself. Many people still don't get it, especially my husband: how can you love yourself, don't you see all your defects? yes, I see them, but I love them, they are not defects to my eyes. There are many things I wish to improve, but out of love, not out of hate.
ReplyDeleteSelf care is so important! I love going on dates with myself to the movies!
ReplyDeletexo Jessica
www.whatsfordinneresq.com
These are some great ways to love ourselves. Self care is so important and we need to give ourselves an "ME TIME".
ReplyDeleteI think having a good self care routine is so important. Just to take an hour out of your day for yourself makes all the difference!
ReplyDeleteGreta
#1 Learn to shut out the outside world - we practice this routine every time we're at home or eating outside. I just don't need to constantly focus on phones & checking social media - all I want is a smart conversation and good laugh.
ReplyDeleteFrom: Calleigh K
This post reminds me not to mistreat myself to much... Perhaps, learn to pamper myself and give myself time to feel the passing of time... Loving myself is not an easy thing if it's not a habit.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you've written this post Tanvii, and everything is absolutely true. Self love is so important; we all have to give ourselves some time out every now and again x
ReplyDeleteLetting go of toxic people is very valuable advice :) We should really keep only positive influencers in our life!
ReplyDeleteIts amazing how you defined it, it would be so much easier when you let go of the toxic people and shut the outside world and spend time with yourself and change your lifestyle, we need ourselves more than we need anyone by our side. Thank you for sharing this amazing blog with us, happy to a part of it.
ReplyDelete