What Real Beauty Means To Me

 

Thank you Dove for sponsoring this post. How do you define #RealBeauty?

Growing up in India, my interpretation of beauty was what had been fed to me over the years. An ideal Indian girl was - thin, fair, with sharp features (whatever that means), has thick-long-black hair, and polite (someone who never questions or retorts back). No other version of female existence would do. She has to meet all the characteristics or else has to hear back-handed-comments like, "She is bright and good in studies, but ...", "She is quite smart but ..." 

I was (and still am!) that person who always received a "but" attached with a compliment. Thankfully my parents never let me feel any less and I was able to survive teenage years without my self confidence shattered. However, somewhere at the back of my mind, I had accepted that I was not beautiful. I had many strengths and qualities but being 'beautiful' was not a privilege I acquired in my gene-pool. I was not that girl who was (is) 'desirable' by Indian standards. I didn't care enough to even consider changing myself, but I definitely never used the adjective beautiful to describe myself.

hair: not black and thick enough

It was not until I went to college and had friends from around the world who complimented me on my hair, and skin tone that I realized that their version of beauty was not same as India. Suddenly my thin-brown-hair were beautiful, my wheatish-complexion was beautiful, the chutzpah in my personality was beautiful. While their compliments definitely made my day back then, but in long term they also broadened my mind enough, to accept myself. 

not fair enough

It took me a decade to get here, but it started with some women building women up. I have learned two lessons from my experiences from college till today, one: that women have the power to change another woman's perspective through kind words and compliments, two: that beauty standards are transient. The exact characteristics which make me less than ideal in India, are the exact characteristics which are celebrated in the West. 

not docile enough

Every woman can define her own beauty. We do not have to conform to any society's standards to consider ourselves beautiful. There cannot be a single mold for all women to exist with in. It is no surprise that 69% of women agree that they don’t see themselves reflected in advertisements, movies, television.

This is why Kylee Howell's story, from Dove Beauty Productions resonated with me. Its powerful message of non-conformity, self-assurance and shedding the narrow definitions of beauty spoke right to me. Directed by no other than Shonda Rhimes with an all-female crew, Dove is shifting the power of storytelling from Hollywood into the hands of real women via Kylee’s story. Check out the video here and see how she empowers others to find their real beauty.

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I was selected for this opportunity as a member of CLEVER and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.