Thank you Dove for sponsoring this post. How do you define #RealBeauty?
Growing up in India, my interpretation of beauty was what had been fed to me over the years. An ideal Indian girl was - thin, fair, with sharp features (whatever that means), has thick-long-black hair, and polite (someone who never questions or retorts back). No other version of female existence would do. She has to meet all the characteristics or else has to hear back-handed-comments like, "She is bright and good in studies, but ...", "She is quite smart but ..."
I was (and still am!) that person who always received a "but" attached with a compliment. Thankfully my parents never let me feel any less and I was able to survive teenage years without my self confidence shattered. However, somewhere at the back of my mind, I had accepted that I was not beautiful. I had many strengths and qualities but being 'beautiful' was not a privilege I acquired in my gene-pool. I was not that girl who was (is) 'desirable' by Indian standards. I didn't care enough to even consider changing myself, but I definitely never used the adjective beautiful to describe myself.
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hair: not black and thick enough |
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not fair enough |
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not docile enough |
Every woman can define her own beauty. We do not have to conform to any society's standards to consider ourselves beautiful. There cannot be a single mold for all women to exist with in. It is no surprise that 69% of women agree that they don’t see themselves reflected in advertisements, movies, television.
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Lovely post. Everyone has their own version of beauty and what 'beauty' truly means. Glad you overcame the stereotypes and saw your beauty :)
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was in India, I saw a ton of commercials about skin brightening. In my eyes, you're pretty light for an Indian person. I live in the Bay Area and you're lighter than most Indians I see on a daily basis. But I do know from being in India (and from seeing similar commercials on Jamaican TV about skin bleaching) that being fair is equal to beauty to some people (same can be said about light skin black girls vs dark skin black girls in the media). So it's good to know what real beauty means to us without the ridiculous standards that countries put on us.
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Love what you wrote about real beauty. In fact, it's funny how various cultures all have different definitions of what they think is beauty. In my culture, getting sun-tanned wasn't attractive. But as we all know, in the US (and especially CA, where I grew up) everyone wants sun-kissed skin. I love how you have come to be comfortable in your own skin/body... and it's fantastic that your parents never made you feel anything less. Good for them :)
ReplyDeleteThe black community is the same way. Fair skin, long, "good" hair and light eyes are the beauty ideals. You don't see colorism as much in Canada, but the minute I set foot in the States? LAWD!
ReplyDeleteGlad you wrote about this!! I see beauty in us all...
I totally agree! I love that you said that women have the power to change another woman's perspective through kind words and compliments! We should spend time building each other up instead of being so critical on ourselves and others! You are stunning! Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading about your perception of beauty, it was so refreshing. And I think we can all learn something from this! We all need to be kinder to ourselves and others - that's where the true beauty lies!
ReplyDeleteJasmine / www.jasminekeclipse.com
There are many different kinds of beauty. And I just want to say that I think you're very beautiful yourself. Stay awesome!
ReplyDeleteThat is so so true! You know how it is in India.
ReplyDeleteMt favorite part of your post is when you said that women have the power to uplift other women.This is very true and we need to find more ways to empower each other
ReplyDeleteoh my Love your story! I love the woman empowerment! Thank you for the article it was a lovely read!
ReplyDeleteI love empowering other women and never hesitate to let one know when they look superb. One time I complimented this lady walking beside my on the streets and she said she was headed to a job interview so my compliment boosted her confidence. Such a great feeling.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you are beautiful! Always interesting to learn more about different beauty standards, although in France theres also this taste for long healthy natural hair ;) and light eyes. But you're right, let see beauty in us all.
ReplyDeleteGuess what, you aren't alone in this beauty standard ranking! Being a Chinese or Asian, I get that too. Legs not long enough, eyes too wide apart, skin not perfect, it's until my bf helps tell me how I'm perfect in my own way!
ReplyDeleteThis makes me so sad, because you are SO beautiful! It just goes to show how culture can shape our definitions of beauty. When I was going through the phase of beauty awareness and noticing things like that, I lived in south florida where the culture was much more south america-influenced than what I was used to. So to me, beautiful was thin, tanned, shiny hair, and brown eyes. I was blonde, blue eyed, and had puberty hips LOL. So my self-esteem was SHOT! My friends looked like ACTUAL super models!! And it took me forever to let go of that idea of beauty and stop comparing myself to others.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading about your recognition of beauty, it was so interesting. We have a different kind of beauty. Everyone has their own version of beauty and what 'beauty' truly means.
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