Beauty with Benefits | - Old School Blogger. Not an influencer.

Beauty with Benefits

Photography Courtesy Corrie Bond

I have never been the one to believe that being a female is a disadvantage in any way. I think I didn't have a choice at birth to choose my gender, so the question of advantage or disadvantage doesn't exist. Of course, having said that, I am also lucky to be born in a liberal Indian family and then to be married into an even more liberal and modern Indian family, neither of which discriminates on the basis of gender. However, time and again, I have heard many women use their gender as an excuse/reason for their circumstances in life. I am in no position to judge their experiences but I refuse to believe gender has anything to do with how you decide to lead your life. I am sure, men have their shares of issues and hard-ships in life.

The reason I am bringing this up today is, because I have recently realized how having a good body and looking pretty can 'actually' be an advantage for a woman. Everyone flocks around you (men and women both) and wants to be your friend, you are the first one of get a drink at the bar, you can actually get ahead in a que, etc. etc. This phenomenon is new to me. I never knew I could use my feminity to my advantage. Whenever I saw such innuendoes being pulled in Indian cinema, I took it for granted to be mere theatrics.

However, since I have never believed my gender to be a disadvantage I, now, believe it would be hypocritical of me to turn around and use it to any advantage either. While I am self-aware of my righteousness at times, but I can't help it. Am I over analyzing a simple phenomenon? Should I just enjoy the ride? Or do I make sense to anyone in the world-wide-web?


  1. Well this is a perfect example of gender discrimination. Women are judged on their looks and men on their wealth/status.
    Also, social psychology research on appearance shows that people who seem attractive do have higher incomes, popularity, etc...up to a point. If you are too attractive, you scare people.

  2. very well written.

    and being a girl rocks if the same 'liberties' are shared with a boy and girl. Even if one doesn't feel it a disadvantage to be a woman, many around can exploit the whole gender thing to their benefit making one doubt it. So all in all, we should thank our families for doing what they do (coz so many girls out there have it really hard!) :-)

    And boys rock too :-p

  3. Keep going keeping the balance.

  4. Meetu D - Glad to be average :o)

    Anita - Thanks for sharing your views :P

    Mom - Wise, as always!

  5. WOWWW,,,,,,u know this part was alwayz in my mind but never really discuss with anyone,,,,,I have experienced it myself,,,,,People who flock arond beauty or money they are just being pretentious. I have known the best looking people around me with no substance in them at all,,,,, or how should i put it delicatly,,,,,they are Just another FAKE ,,,,,,

  6. Shilpy - I know what you mean ... people are just stupid! haha!

  7. Hi Tanvi,

    Very insightful post.. I'm a new reader so have been reading some of your old posts (the ones that aren't fashion related)..

    I find that it is an injustice to ourselves, as women, to use our sexuality as an advantage. It starts with batting your eyelashes at a bouncer, but where does it end? Leaving a few buttons open at the office? Flirting your way out of a speeding ticket?

    I am by no means a radical feminist, or a traditionalist. I simply believe that our essence lies in our intelligence.

    You are quite lucky to have been raised in a liberal family! I'm under the assumption that you are Punjabi or the like, as most Punjabi girls (myself included) are brought up in an environment where sexism is rare.

    But yes, there are many women and girls who have not had as many opportunities as us and never will. You raised the point of ' I refuse to believe gender has anything to do with how you decide to lead your life..'. Well, I have to say I disagree. I feel maybe you meant women that perhaps victimize themselves under an umbrella of "it's because i'm a woman.." But for the select few ignorant ones that cannot hoist themselves up, we cannot ignore the millions others who are subjected to cruelty solely on the basis of their gender.

    Very interesting post though. I'm very glad to have found your blog!

    Lots of luck xox


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