#MeToo Movement In India - For Dummies | Tanvii.com - Indian Fashion, Lifestyle and Travel Blog

#MeToo Movement In India - For Dummies

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The #MeToo movement has finally reached India and the details are more horrid than I could have ever imagined. What’s more disheartening is to know that men who apparently are seen (or portray themselves) as “woke” are rather complicit in the deeds.

Men have been disappointing me for decades, but this week they proved themselves to be of another level of garbage.

Men, if you are unsure about what you need to do in these times here’s where you can start:

  1. Believe the women who are coming forward even if the claims are against your friends or family. Don’t question why they didn’t come forward sooner. The least you can do is listen and believe them now. 
  2. Do not make sexual jokes or any jokes at all about this movement (which is just scratching the surface in India, right now)
  3. If someone accuses YOU of (moderate?) harassment, aka inappropriate jokes, gestures, of basically being a douche, take time to reflect, understand, apologize (profusely!) and use this as moment for self-growth. 
  4. Don’t get defensive if you see women use the blanket term “all men” to address their stories. Even if you are an outlier, I bet you have been in a room where a guy said something inappropriate and you chose to stay quiet. So, yes you are part of the problem.
  5. Don’t participate in conversations which talk about women in a degrading manner. Heck, be the man who asks others to stop even!
  6. This one will probably be difficult for a lot of Indian men, but try and stop talking to your friends with mother-sister cursing. Clean your language, clean your mind!
  7. And if you have nothing productive or supportive to add to the #MeToo conversation how about you stay quiet, and watch us change this world?
This is just a starting point. I don’t know where in history we went wrong, but it is about time we set things right. Men, save your gender. Women can’t save you any more. We are busy fighting our own battles.

And ladies, don’t come at me with how fabulous the men in your lives are - I am happy for you, but this is not your moment. Save it for your Facebook updates. This is the time to stand in solidarity. Let's build each other up. We are stronger, together! Let these women talk. It is their time. Our time. We all have been quiet long enough.


“I wish we lived in a culture where people could come forward and admit to past misdeeds, take responsibility for their thoughts and actions, seek forgiveness, demonstrate atonement and positive behavior, and could then be seen as role models for the growth that all humans are capable of.” - Dr. Mudita Rastogi
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10 comments

  1. YES!!!! I have never understood why so many men feel they have to belittle a woman or see her as something less that can be pawed and judged. WTF, get over yourself already, as a man you are not my keeper, you don't own me and you will never be anything more than spoilt, testosterone filled brat.

    I'd like to add another point. As mothers we need to do everything we can to make sure our sons don't become those men. We need to make sure that we show them, by example, that we deserve respect and are strong, courageous woman who can be loving and caring, but who will stand up and fight this fight together. We need to empower and teach our daughters that they are amazing. We need to show them that they can be whoever they want to be, and that they don't have to have a man by their side to be seen as something worth while. And if you're lucky enough to find a real man who treats you with respect and sees you as a partner, rather than a possession, love him and hold on to him so you can both show the world how incredible it can be.

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  2. Excellent and timely post ! And so true about saving those over the top posts to Facebook. I know so many women in terrible relationships who over compensate on Facebook to make their moronic guys seem acceptable. I hope instead of getting defensive, the guys take time for self introspection. Now if only we can get every one of them to read your post ....

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  3. This is why I keep coming back to your blog. You are so real.People with a voice, with followers really should start standing up!

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  4. Good advice, especially at this time. Because I look male publicly, I sometimes see the side of men that they hide from women. In conversation when women are not present, many men act horribly -- and I know female friends of theirs who don't realize this. It's awful to encounter. If women knew what most men are really like, they'd be even more scared and angry.

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  5. I knew that this was going to happen at some point. The waves of #metoo have finally reached our shores and there's nothing anyone can to stop the skeletons from tumbling out of the closet.
    On one hand I have been reeling from reading the various accounts and on it be other hand it is absolutely appalling to read the reactions of some of the men who have gone ahead and starter trash talking women again! I hope this movement or whatever it is that people are calling it brings about the change that we have been waiting for. This should have happened long before,but I am happy that it's finally happening. I hope all the women stand together rather than protecting their husbands, boyfriends, sons and friends. We need this to work. Things have to change.i hope all the men and women read this post.
    Sorry for rambling on...I am very passionate about this subject as it is about us.

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    1. Please don't apologize. I completely get you and get what you are saying. I am extremely passionate about this too. I am hoping for some sustainable change in our society here on.

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  6. Its a really good thing that women in India are coming forward and talking about it. But most of the times a women does even realise that she is being harassed.. I know one such example ...it happened with me only I was dating a guy once.one day something over some issue he was crying and I hugged him just to console him.(in India most of the times dating doesn't involve being physical at any level) and he suddenly kissed me saying I provoked him by hugging him... and it my fault at that time I believed it too...now turning back I realise no it was his mistake that he didn't ask for my consent..its not exactly a sexual harassment example but this is mentality of Indian men....they will blame women if she decides to speak up and somehow put blame on her... education and safe environment should be given to women that her voice matters too...and its not always her fault that she 'provoked' men....

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    1. I agree with you ... women are not responsible for men behaving the way they do ... men have to take accountability for their own actions as well as emotions. I am glad we are all speaking up and talking and hopefully this will translate into change.

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