I Don't Disagree With Anyone, Anymore | Tanvii.com - Indian Fashion, Lifestyle and Travel Blog

I Don't Disagree With Anyone, Anymore


Remember that Tanvi who had opinions galore? (This question is mostly for people who have been reading this blog for close to a decade). The recent controversies of the world and the bat-shit-crazy open-letters being written all over the internet, have be exhausted! Over the last few months several people (IRL and online) have asked 'my opinion' on the current affairs and my response, believe it or not, has been, "I have no opinion!" 

It is not because I have stopped thinking, or being passionate about issues, it is mostly because I have learned to channel my energy where it counts. Recently, I read this quote again,

"... grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - Reinhold Niebuhr

... and it striked me, "That's it!" - I might not be 100% there but I do think I am figuring out my path to get there. 

Along with learning when not to waste my opinions and energy on moot subjects, I have also learned to voice my opinions without disagreeing with anyone. For example, if someone says, "I believe yada yada yada." Instead of saying, "I don't agree because I believe yada yada yada." - I let the person complete what they wish to say without interrupting them. This not only let the person feel at peace that they were able to express themselves, it also gives me time to analyze whether it is worth using my breath to in fact share what I believe. Should I decide to share my opinion (which is not in agreement to their's) I start my sentence without using the words, "I disagree, ..." 

Case in point: 
Person: XYZ is the best Thai restaurant in town. They serve this and that, their preparations are lala lala la. 
Me: I have had most wonderful experience of eating at the ABC Thai restaurant. Their nana nana na is my all time favorite. 

There, I said my bit. The other person said their bit. And not once did I mention anything about their statement/opinion. Now if they do happen to continue this discussion, I would either politely retract myself from the conversation or politely change the subject.   


Paradise Island Turkey Tanvii.com Paradise Island Turkey Tanvii.com Paradise Island Turkey Tanvii.com Paradise Island Turkey Tanvii.com Paradise Island Turkey Tanvii.com
Location - Prince's Island, Turkey

Sweater - Nordstrom // Same
Jeans - Joe's Jeans // Same
Shoes - Adidas Superstar // Same
Bag - Marc Jacobs // Same
Coat - Uniqlo // Similar
Shawl - From India // Another 
Sunglasses - Ted Baker // Another 

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39 comments

  1. I feel you on this one!! The me from a few years ago had an opinion on EVERYTHING and felt the need to talk about it, these days honestly I dont care about other peoples opinions. I mean that in this way - does their opinion or way they live their life effect me directly? No? Then keep on keepin on yall!

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  2. Yes! I hear you! I love that quote to. Much better to focus energy constructively in ways that can make a difference.

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  3. So true Tanvi. I find the older I get the less inclined I am to voice my opinions, especially to people who don't have a huge impact on my life. Maybe it's a sign of maturity or perhaps we start caring more about who we are becoming and feel confident about where we're at and no longer see someone else's opinion as a challenge. Either way it does make life so much easier.

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  4. I've arrived at the same point. On some issues, people shoot their mouths off with no understanding and, worse, no willingness to learn. I frequently encounter people talking stupidly about transgender issues. Most are unwilling to listen and learn so there's no point arguing with them. So I don't.

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  5. Glad you have found a solution to help approach those type of controversies.

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  6. This is actually a great approach, as usually disagreements end up in long conversations that never end well. Maybe I should take your approach as well, as it so annoys me when I try to defend my opinions, especially when I know I'm right...

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  7. Such a good reminder- I don't always need to make my opinion known about every little thing!

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  8. Bike riding in Turkey looks quite cute and fun. Interesting that you are taking on this new approach to life. I am not one to get into discussions with people over politics or religion. Too exhausting. Usually I don't agree or disagree with people on most things simply because it takes too much effort and I simply don't care enough. But sometimes, I can't help myself. Other times, I just remind myself in my head that most people are dumb (joking/not joking).

    www.ohtobeamuse.com

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  9. This is such a wonderful outlook and way to communicate with others. It teaches love and that there is room for all our opinions.

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  10. Is that the island where cars are forbidden, near Istanbul? I've been on a beautiful island once in Turkey but forgot the name. Your pictures look so lovely.

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  11. I can totally relate on this post! Its all about picking your battles and improving communication!

    love,
    Britt+Whit

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  12. Yes! Pick and choose your battles. Great post gal and the color of that scarf looks amazing on you.

    xo Laura Leigh
    www.louellareese.com

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  13. So many people agreeing with you! Lesson is learned, it seems :)
    It is true that we should all choose battles worth fighting. There is no point in exhausting ourselves in proving our point, especially if it obviously does not lead anywhere. Sometimes I feel our conversational patterns have really become confrontational out of habit, even if we agree...
    Q: Do you like this meal?
    A: Why wouldn't I like it?
    I hear this type of conversation too often. It's pointless to stress oneself over the tiniest details that will not change, and that will especially not change anything about your own life.
    www.pipeaway.com

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  14. My initial reaction to the title of this post was sadness. I hate the trend I see of Millennials (especially prone) prefacing or ending a statement of conviction with "It's just my opinion" - as if apologizing for its lack of validity. But you do make an excellent good point about picking your battles. Even Jesus warned against casting your pearls before swine. ;-)

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  15. That's how I've been living! In my non confrontational bubble. I'm happy in here!

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  16. I definitely try to decide which battles to choose. In particular, my dad and I don’t share many of the same views on things, but I usually don’t say anything. He’s still my dad and I love him, even if he has some outdated views.

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  17. I am looking forward to travel to Turkey. Bicycle ride is looking so much fun I haven't done it since quiet some time now. So looking forward to try this on my trip.I am in love with your purple scarf.

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  18. Everyone loves a adidas and jean. Defo feeling the winter jacket too! Wheres the bike from?

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  19. you really just got to do you. this is post is how i think, let them all talk and say whatever

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  20. I completely agree with your new way of thinking Tanvi! And I love the quote you've shared - I don't think I've heard of that before. Istanbul is a fantastic city, and I'd love to visit it again at some point x

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  21. Good for you! I tend to keep my opinions to myself, especially on political matters. My husband says "opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one." lol I keep that in mind, and that no two people will agree 100% with another person.

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  22. I hear you. Sharing your opinion sometimes can lead to stupid arguments; ones i might add could have been avoided.

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  23. I absolutely love your persepective!! Cute outfit as well!

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  24. In politics and social issues, I have no opinion, either. That's been my response for a long time. I especially say this online when I am stating something publicly. It serves nothing but to stir an argument.
    Alicia
    www.Taylorlife.com

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  25. I've always loved that quote. I definitely have opinions, but whether I need to share them is another thing entirely.

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  26. Your posts are always a delight to read... and now I am dreaming of my Turkey trip in 2 months :)

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  27. This makes perfect sense, since like with your examples of the restaurants, its not entirely a world fact that their place is the best - its an opinion - So there's no right or wrong to the indivual saying it. I think having this outlook is probably much more relaxing and less stressful than when people fight to prove they are right or correct another's opinion. Also.. I am loving your outfit and the bicycle is SO cute!

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  28. This is a great reminder that sometimes we need to think about what we say and not run our mouth of every single opinion... Also... on another note... I absolutely love your outfit and that super cute bike!! Shell

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  29. This post is spot on! So many times we listen to speak as opposed to truly listening to hear what the other person is saying. We don't need to express our opinion all the time. It's wasted energy. What happens when what you believe is "good" clashes with someone else's "good?" This is why we have wars. Love your perspective!

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  30. Such a good point- some opinions just need to be kept to ourselves and not argue over!

    xo, Kristina

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  31. This is a great post. It's become really hard to argue with people these days so I do the same thing as you! It just makes everything easier for everyone.

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  32. Oh, this is such a great post. You made some good and great points here. By the way, the color of your scarf looks really great. You look beautiful as always.

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  33. Omg! I so relate to this post! I’ve gotten to point where it’s exhausting to debate or agree to disagree. I say how I feel and the other person says how they feel and that’s it. Love the bright colors on you!

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  34. This is such an inspiring post Tanvi and you raised some really great points. Keep being you because you are a joy to know :)

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  35. Couldn't agree with this more. Everyone needs to read this!!

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  36. Ha! I don't know how old you are but that's pretty characteristic of someone in their early 20s, lord knows I was this way. Now in my 30s I feel so much more settled down and it sounds like you're moving that way too! Life is a lot simpler when we don't feel the need to make our opinions right, isn't it? :) Cute outfit!!! Love your coat.

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  37. I don't think there is anything wrong with confrontation or being in disagreement with someone. That's what make the beauty of this world. It's all about how you communicate your ideas, isn't it?

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  38. I feel this. I used to be so opinionated but I’ve come to accept that other people have opinions and that doesn’t mean that they’re right and I’m wrong or vice versa.

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