Cause Of Extreme Discomfort | Tanvii.com - Indian Fashion, Lifestyle and Travel Blog

Cause Of Extreme Discomfort


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I have always been a little wary of sharing about myself on the internet. The biggest irony about my being a personal blogger is that - I am actually quite a private person in personal life. I never ever share about my problems with anyone. If I do, it is only when I have solved them and there is a perspective I want to share from that experience. Hence, on the blog as well, I usually try and keep my posts about my 'thoughts' versus about details from my life or about people in my life. Barring a few names that I regretfully have mentioned in the beginning of blogging journey, I have practically stayed clear of mentioning any name or relationship (except my husband and fellow bloggers) in the past five years or so. 

I am always analyzing whether I am sharing too much, or being too specific about my life in this space. The intention is not be mysterious or cryptic. I am just someone who likes to keep my whereabouts and everyday life to myself (as much as possible). I never share about my travels with anyone except immediate family. I do not post any checkins or live updates on my personal social profiles. I do not post photo albums on Facebook. Whatever is posted on the blog is what everyone else get's to see as well.


Believe it or not, I do not want to become a super blogger. I do not want to get famous. I want people to enjoy reading my blog, interact with me in a meaningful way and then get on with their day. I have an extremely focused goal for what my ideal audience should look like - Readership of about 100,000 loyal and engaging people, who are hopefully curious, open-minded, love being challenged, express their view and not attack/troll, and are a little defiant towards society's norms. I do not want my readers to agree with me on everything I say, but at least try and see where I am coming from and engage to learn more or share their own opinions. But as is works out, that's a mighty goal which is rather quite difficult to achieve. I speak from twelve years of blogging experience.



So when recently one of my oldest blogger buddies, Jeanette shared this on social media, it hit home - "The biggest struggle of my adult life has been extreme discomfort (putting it mildly) from being in the limelight." I too do not enjoy the limelight. I often cringe a little when I meet people from my personal life (family, friends, aunts and uncles) and they choose to talk about my posts or outfits in person with me. Or with other people in front of me. Even if it is all compliments. This experience of online life taking over my offline life is rather quite uncomfortable for me. My wish is to share posts on the internet and then leave them there. I do not ever want to dissect it's contents with anyone in real life. Again, this does not apply to fellow bloggers when discussing posts about all-things-blogging. Does any other blogger feel this way? Or am I the only weird one? 

Repeating this dress again in under a month!
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Dress - eri + ali via Anthropologie // Same
Kimono - All Saints // Similar
Shoes - Lucky Brand // Similar
Watch - Omega // Similar


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29 comments

  1. No I can not wear what you wear. Do people really want to become famous blogging. Hope it isn't all about making money and becoming famous.

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  2. I think that sharing yourself in any way can be discomforting. I’m dxtremrly shy but when I sing, I become a totally different person. My songs, almost like children I birthed. Not easy to expose who you are. But we do it.

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  3. I think you are smart in your choice to seperate certain parts of life in blogging and the other way around. I'm with you. I don't expect or want to be a 'famous' blogger, like Candy says, I also hope that's not peoples reasons for blogging. Well done on your current amount of followers and readers, I think its because you are so down to earth and seem like a genuine and nice person :)

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  4. What your friend was spot on for many people in the blogging world. I am one of them. I understand fully where you're coming from. You chose a personal blog which makes it harder to separate the two. Hopefully word will spread and a more defined line will start to form for you.

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  5. This dress is so effortless and I love the outdoorsy fall vibe.

    It's funny because I recently just did some video content (as you might know) and I was hanging out with my friends over the weekend and they kept bringing it up. It was all very nice, but they were like, "oh you're famous now" which is absolutely not the case. But I'm always very quick to be like thank you and now let's move on. It makes me feel uncomfortable to talk so much about myself. And apparently there was a girl there, who I didn't know, and she said to the hubs "is that oh to be a muse?" -- lol. That was quite weird. If I had heard her say it, I would have been like, no, it's just me -- Cheryl.

    www.ohtobeamuse.com

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  6. I think you make a wise choice not sharing too much of yourself. Because i blog about my chronic illness i share that but that all i share.
    I have just been having a look through you blog and you may not want to be come a big blogger but done be surprised if you do.

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  7. I can totally relate to you about this--loving to post about my life on the internet but being a private person in real life. I just love the idea of having an open diary online and letting people with similar outlooks/interests engage with my content.

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  8. I did feel this way in the early days of my blogging journey
    But now I share more and more about my life and I do so when I really feel comfortable with it.
    My aim is to inspire and entertain others so when it's necessary I share some details.
    You are not weird. I totally relate to this. What you share is up to you decide.
    Your dress is stunning by the way!

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  9. I love your style. Its so effortless. I really love this kimono, maybe a bit long for me though. Gemma x

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  10. Love the dress. I am careful about what I share also!

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  11. I can totally relate! I had such a hard time sharing personal details of my life when I first started blogging & am still very careful about what I share. While I want my hard work to pay off, I also do not want to be a famous blogger. It's such a fine line!

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  12. I think the irony is that blogging affords you to share the real you without explicitly showing that vulnerability. It is so easy to write and publish true and raw emotion than speak about it. Use this as your outlet! Let your blog naturally become what it is meant to be.

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  13. Knowledge about everybody is so easy to get nowadays so I understand your apprehension to share things

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  14. This is a great post, also I am loving the outfit you are wearing! So cute

    XO-Lisa

    www.thatssodarling.com

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  15. it can be so uncomfortable putting it all out there - but i'd say you do a great job & look great doing it!

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  16. I feel like this 80% of the time. I like to keep my personal self private. I think it's good to keep some things private . I think as i continue to share i start to feel more comfortable but i still keep some stuff private.

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  17. I'm with you on this 100% Tanvi and that's probably why I'd never be able to blog about something other than DIY and crafts. It's a safety zone where I don't need to share to much personal information.

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  18. First, I must say you look like an actress I saw in a movie, I can't remember the move but I will now have to look for it. Then, I am a mom blogger and I struggle with sharing my photos plus the baby, I want to write from my heart but I am such a minimalist in terms of sharing stories about my life. Like you, I don't want to be famous, just to have a loyal following who can nderstand my mum struggles

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  19. while my blog is mostly food and wellness focused, it is very uncomfortable for me to see my personal life as well so i totally see where you are coming from.

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  20. Beautiful style, effortless. Love the look and the pics. Nice work!

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  21. It's fascinating how people choose to incorporate social media into their overall lives. The opportunity for online expression is relatively new so nobody seems to know exactly how to do it right so everyone experiments with the technology. Of the dozens of bloggers I know, you stand apart in two distinct ways on this, which is why I was so curious to meet you in person and see your offline self. Interesting...

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  22. I am loving the kimono. I love the kimono trend my mom hates it she thinks i made this trend up and walk out in public with a bathrobe on lol

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  23. My personal Facebook & IG are private & were before I started blogging. I may eventually make my personal Twitter private as well. So far, I haven't posted any pictures of myself (except one in my website bio) to anything GFS related. That's not necessarily on purpose, I just haven't really thought about doing it. I know eventually I'll have to start posting video content, but I'm not completely comfortable with that (I'm not sure I ever will be). I've thought about just posting videos with my voice and my hands if I'm making something, but I don't know if/how long that can suffice. For now, I just focus on the writing.

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  24. 12 years, that's quite a long time. I never knew that. For me, I did it for around 5 years and it was meant to be a platform for me to help my acting. But instead, it helped my writing instead~

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  25. I am the same, I try not in involve my personal life with my blog. I never mentioned any people from my life on my blog because I want to keep my life private, even if I am a blogger. I never actually present myself as a blogger and the only times I act as one is when I attend blogging events or conferences.

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  26. Like you, I don't want to become a 'famous' blogger. I think it I did, I would lose site of why I started and not have true interaction with my readers/followers. Being in the limelight doesn't bother me, but it's just not what I want.

    Cute Fun Fringe Sweater
    www.keepingupwithcandy.com

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  27. I agree with you. I try not to or don't want to share too much about my personal life on the internet. It just sets those boundaries. I love that dress on you!

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  28. I feel similarly but not as strongly, if that makes sense. I HAVE to keep my blog separate. Im a lawyer and will never utter my full name of the blog, more so because I dont want a google search to lead to my blog, as I have clients to maintain. I therefore keep a lot very private as well. I share more snippets and less detail. I like where Im at, at the moment.

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  29. I really like your entire outfit. You look so beautiful on your kimonos.

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