April 2013 | Tanvii.com - Indian Fashion, Lifestyle and Travel Blog

60 Ways To Make Your Marriage Rock


I found this list on someone's Facebook Page and started reading it for entertainment. And then a light bulb went on in my head and I decided to be a little snarky and see how I instantly reacted to each of these awesome (?) tips! 

1. Always love each other, even when it's hard to 

Bull shit. I would say always respect each other even when its hard to love

2. Never go to bed angry.
Again, bull shit! Just go to bed. Sleep solves everything. 

3. Go on regular date nights
This I agree. Wholeheartedly! 

4. Hide notes in secret places
Do that. But let it not be a bit 'too' secret place :P

5. Go to bed at the same time
O! Dr. Fab is gonna love this one. He supports this 100 %. I believe sleep whenever you are sleepy!

6. Listen to music together-share ear-buds
Its not that romantic. Rather quite uncomfortable. Just get your own iPod & headset. 

7. Buy him gifts he will love
Yeah! Can't argue with that much. Can I? 

8. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
Didn't we already cover that in #3? 

9. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
Huh? Let's NOT tell the world anything. Keep your love between yourself.  

10. Praise your spouse to other people
Sure. If its about something special. Else its just nauseating. 

11. Read a marriage devotional
What on earth is that?!?!

12. Sleep in his t-shirts
I'd have to give in to this one. They are rather comfortable. 

13. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
Yes! Privately being the most important part. 

14. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
Yes! But not for your monthly anniversaries. Only when you cross the 25 year threshold. 

15. Go away together at least once a year
I'd say more than once a year. 

For Women Mostly
O.K. then! ;)

16. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
Alright, but I don't see how it would make my marriage rock?

17. Make his favorite dessert
Sure. Why not. If you are in the mood of baking!

18. Make sex a priority
Erm! Nothing sarcastic to say on this topic. 

19. Spend time apart occasionally
Hell-to-the-Yes!

20. Learn to enjoy something he loves
Yes. That is a good advice. 

21. Surprise each other
Depends. But I would have to agree. 

22. Meet him at the door
Always! (of course you have to be home first to do that!)

23. Text each other from across the room
Can be cute! But not when you are sitting with other people. That's rude. 

24. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
Huh? You mean you could actually forget you are married? Ever?

25. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him
I wouldn't do that. But wait. Let me try. He doesn't know about this post ... He replied, "Why?"

For Men Mostly

26. Leave work on time and come home early

Wouldn't he have to leave work early to come home early?

27. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
What if you are a goofy-couple? Do you still 'have' to do that?

28. Compliment each other
Sure. Only when you mean it. 

29. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
Just ONE day?

30. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
Practice makes us perfect. And yes, agreed!

31. Kiss every day
Definitely!

32. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
Serve?!?!?1 ... What now?

33. Forgive quickly
He does. I can't!

34. Be honest.
Of course!

35. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
Agreed!

36. Look your best as often as you can
No arguments. Or complaints there!

37. Guard your marriage
Kripya apne saaman ki khudh suraksha karein! ;)

38. Laugh together
Agreed, again!

39. When you are together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
Hell-to-the-Yes! Again!

40. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
That would be the kind thing to do!

Both
#1 - #15 were for ...?!?!?

41. Make each other breakfast in bed
Please don't! At least, I like having breakfast only after brushing my teeth and when its nicely spread on the table. 

42. Do each other's chores 
If you mean help each other out. Yes!

44. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
Always fun!

44. Dance together to soft music 
Dance. To anything. Any music you like. 

45. Exercise together - hikes, bike riding, etc
Whenever time permits do it together. But exercise, regardless. 

46. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment from your spouse
We can 'choose' all we want, but it ain't gonna happen! :P

47. Thank your spouse often even for the least reason or gesture
That's right. Its also good manners. 

48. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
You are kidding right? I'd rather get to me long to-do-list which I never finish

49. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
Its fun to do activities together. 

50. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
For the love of God, DON'T! Once in a while (read: max. twice a year), go for it. Anything more: Please Stop!

51. Support each other’s goals
Damn right!

52. Bring her flowers/gifts (even when she says they are too expensive)
In my case, my husband knows I am not a big fan of flowers. They die. And I prefer to buy my own gifts. 

53. Wear something your spouse loves
Sure. If you feel good in it as well. 

54. Share furniture - sit in his lap
Just make sure you weight less than him!

55. Fight for your marriage
... with whom?

56. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week.
We prefer to eat breakfast and desserts together. 

57. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing.
Hopefully both of you would be mature enough to realize that on different days, everyone has different priorities. 

58. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!
Shut the F'Up! Be yourself and talk whatever the heck you want to. 

59. Maintain a united front as your motto: Meaning- “Me and you against the world."
... and what if the world is not against us? :P

60. Speak well of your spouse.
How about don't speak ill of your spouse, or anyone else. Period?

Personally, I think this list might be the reason why my marriage becomes rocky, instead of rocking. But then that's just me. I am weird ... Should we move on to the outfit then?








Cardigan - GAP [12']
Tee - GAP [11']
Trousers - GAP [12']
Shoes - Nine West via TJ Maxx [11']
Necklace - c/o Shop Jami [13']
Ring - Crazy & Co. [12']

On my eyes - Hashmi Kajal 
On my lips - Cardinal Plume (178) via L'Oréal

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P.S.


Its 'that' time of the year again 
when I feel I need a little 'me' time away from the blog.  
But as always, I will be back soon.  
'till then be good! (:  
P.P.S. I will still be active on Facebook & Twitter
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Random-o-sity


10 random things on my mind: 

- Its been a while since Dr. Fab wrote a post for the blog. Isn't it?
- Why is our world so nuts?
- Living in the moment is so much easier than planning ahead!
- If I were to ask God for something, it would be clear skin.
- Why do changes in other people's lives always make me so nervous?
- I haven't been to the movies even once in 2013. Can you believe it?
- One thing I miss about living in India is the chauffeur-driven-car. 
- Learning to live smarter, and not bigger!
- I am reluctant to admit it but unlike most people, Monday is my favorite day. 
- “I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't.” —Unknown

As for the outfit, it was not until I started editing the pictures that I realized that I was wearing the EXACT same color combination as the last outfit. How bizarre. I don't remember if that has ever happened to me before. Although, the last one was from Saturday and this one is from Monday. 








Dress - Gift from an aunt [09']
Jacket - Michael Kors [08']
Shoes - Rocketdog [11']
Necklace - Won in a contest [11']

On my eyes - BADGAL eyeliner via BENEFIT
On my lips - Lady Danger via MAC 

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Don't use the phrase, "Good News!"


Apparently if you are a married-Indian-woman, you cannot use the phrase "Good News" while sharing your any news (for the lack of a better word) unless you are letting people know that you are pregnant. You could buy a new house, land a new job, get a promotion, or even find a cure for cancer, but if you say, "I have a good news!" then everyone in India (or of Indian origin) would assume that you are informing them that you have a bun in your oven. The Mama-drama literally never leaves your side. 

Worse is when your news doesn't meet their expectation. They give out a disappointed sigh! and let you know that they that thought it was the 'other' good news, but they are (sympathetically) very happy for your 'current' good news as well. 

One day, when I have time to spare, I would definitely like to get to the bottom of, how pregnant women got claim to the phase, "good news". For now, all my 'good news' are introduced as 'something exciting' ... and to tell you the truth, it does seem a more apt description than the boring "good news"







Tee - GAP [12']
Jeans - Miss Sixty [09']
Scarf - Gift from Mom [13']
Shoes - Steve Madden [12']
Clutch Cover - c/o Clutched & Covered [12']
Bangles - Crazy & Co. [12']

On my eyes - Hashmi Kajal and INIMITABLE Mascara (10) via CHANEL
On my lips - Raspberry Bite (745) via REVLON

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Forgetful Mind


I had something on my mind this morning, and I thought, "I am going to write about it on the blog today." ... And for the love of God, I cannot remember what the heck THAT thoughts was. Does that happen to you? It happens to me one too many times. I find it SO annoying. 

And now, I know, I am going to spend the whole evening trying to remember what it was that I had on my mind and then it will come to me right when I am about to get into a deep sleep. At that moment, I would have to make a choice of - either getting out of bed and noting it down some place and sacrificing my sleep, or letting go of that thought and trusting my rather-fertile-brain for coming up with an equally interesting thought again and/or remembering it until the next day. I guess, we will know in my next post what choice I end up making! Y'all be good till Sunday! (:





 


Blouse - Joie [13']
Jeans - c/o Lulu*s [12']
Shoes - ALDO [10']
Bracelet & Rings - Crazy & Co. [12']
Necklace - Francesca's [08']
Earring - c/o Bauble Bar [11']

Sorry, I AGAIN forgot to note down the make up details! ("WHAT?!?! "... I know! I know!)

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Long time ago ...


... it was my birthday! 

We all know that I have been over birthdays for a while. Hence, I decided to NOT make a big deal about it AT ALL this year. I deactivated the birthday notification on Facebook. I didn't post about it on the blog or any other social media platform like previous years (2011, 2012). My logic was (is) that, wishes mean something when they come naturally, not when you actually have to ask for them yourself. In the last couple of years, I have done exactly that -> Since Facebook & Blog came in to my life, declaring my birthday to the world and then being happy about all the birthday wishes I received, must have been the most dumbest thing I have ever done (in my adult life). It used to feel special when friends, cousins and family from all around the world called and sent cards because they remembered it all by themselves, without any hint/nudge from me. What's so special in physically filling your own birthday in people's 'My Birthday Calendar App' so that they can then wish you on your birthday. Do you see the irony here? ... May be I am the only one, but then you already know how I like being the only one ... ;)

... guess what, this ended up being the most special birthday ever, since 2006. I had joined Facebook in December 2006. I received the most thoughtful presents from my family, my husband got me a delicious cake, my brother wrote me a LONG birthday letter for the very first time, which I incidentally received ON my birth date itself (and I am not ashamed to say I bawled like crazy after reading it!) and everyone who matters, remembered to wish me, without any help from me! ... and then we ended the evening at one of my favorite restaurant. It doesn't get better than that, does it? Not for me.

So why am I telling everyone about my birthday now? Well, I am not actually telling, I am just documenting my special day on my blog. For archival purposes. Besides, its too late to wish me now. I am quite certain there is an expiry date on belated birthday wishes! :P 






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Won't go to heaven!

Sometimes I wonder why people feel the need to impose their beliefs on others. A few weeks back I had an encounter with an old lady. I like chatting with old people, specially old women. They remind me of Amma. Also, because often my conversations with them, end up being profound and wise. 

However, not this time ... So, this lady smiled at me and told me, "You are so pretty!". I smiled back at her and said, "Thank you!". Since she was alone (I assume waiting for her family) I didn't mind talking to her. She then asked me, "Which church do you go to?". I was startled by such a random question but I politely responded, "I do not go to any Church. I am not Christian." She literally gasped at my response and reached out to hold my hands. I do not know why my reflexes didn't kick-in (usually I cringe whenever a stranger happens to touch me, intentionally or not!) and before I knew she had both my hands in her tight grip. She exclamed, "Oh my God! Do you know you won't go to heaven because you are not a Christian?!". I was shocked at her statement and at a momentary loss of words. Part of me wanted to answer back to her (and say, "I doubt Jesus is letting you in to heaven either, with this sorta attitude!") and the part of me wanted to run away from her. However, I told her, while still maintaining my calm and composure (Mom! You should be so proud of me right about NOW!), "That's alright. I am sure I will get where ever my destiny takes me." But I already knew that she was not going to give up that easily. "No! You don't understand you really won't go to heaven! Come and pray with me!", she then said. THAT WAS IT. I got my hands out of her grip and told her, "I do not want to pray with you, but please feel free to pray for me!" (Mom, continue being proud of me!). She asked my name, and then said a little prayer for me to Jesus while I got out of there as FAST as I could. Last I heard she called out my name in the beginning and ended her prayer with an, "Amen!". 

Since then I have been thinking about that incident. What compels people to make everyone think like they do? Why can't people have different beliefs? I am aware that she was from a different generation and their thoughts might not be that liberal but I know a lot of people who would have done the exact same thing and they are probably even younger than I am. 

I, on the other hand, am completely at peace with everyone disagreeing with me and/or believing in whatever they wish to. As a matter of fact I like it when people disagree with me. Makes me feel one-of-a-kind, and enforces the fact that I do not follow a herd mentality. But that topic can have a post, all for itself another time. For now, let's see if I make it to heaven, eh?  










Shirt - Custom made via Richa [13']
Jeans - Target [13']
Sweater - ASOS [13']
Shoes - BCBG via Macy's [09']
Ring - Crazy & Co. [12']
Earrings - INPINK [11']

On my eyes - Hashmi Kajal 
On my lips - Rouge á Lévres Lasting Finish By Kate via RIMMEL LONDON 

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Swapped: Marc by Marc Jacobs Dress


Ta. Da. Please welcome one of my favorite dresses to the blog! This is one of those dresses that I have worn 100 times, ... O.K. scratch that, but definitely ... at least 10 times in the last year, but unfortunately none of those days were documented on the blog. Last year at the TxSC I got real lucky and grabbed a DVF Jacket and this Marc by Marc Jacobs dress. I know, right? What are the chances? What can I say. Sometimes a girl just gets lucky (; *happy.dance* 






Photography credits: Josh Cervantes

Dress - Marc by Marc Jacobs [12']
Shoes - BCBG [08']
Earrings - Gift from Mom [09']
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Compliment from Strangers


What is it about receiving compliments from absolute strangers that changes the course of our day completely? A simple, " I love your dress" from a random lady (or a gentleman) on the street can make you feel like a million bucks. It probably had to do with the fact that we think what would they gain from lying to us? Right? Whatever it is, they should definitely not stop doing it. And I will gladly pass it forward. 

And that is why ladies and gentlemen (?) I re-wore my Friday-night date outfit on Saturday, purely for picture-purposes. After all the compliments I had received the previous evening, I thought this creation was worthy of being archived on the web and for my online stalkers to view (:P).  









Dress - Gift from Leia [11'] Previously worn here in fall & here in winters
Heart dress - ASOS [12'] Previously worn here as a dress & here as a top
Shoes - From a local store in Rio de Janeiro [07']
Bangles & Earrings - Gift from Mom [11']

On my eyes - master drama via Maybelline, INIMITABLE Mascara (10) via CHANEL 
On my lips - Certainly Red via REVLON

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