Unfavorable Feedback | Indian Woman Fashion, Fitness, Food, Style & Travel Photography Blog by Tanvi Rastogi

Unfavorable Feedback

1:00 AM

Mobile Photo, to show you my feather extensions from last week,
in case you missed them on Twitter
 At National Harbor, Maryland
I have spent the last week in National Harbor, Maryland. Hence, the lack of outfit posts. This was the first picture we clicked, but all the heat & humidity was *clearly* making me grumpy. More pictures to follow in the up coming posts. Hopefully with a smile :) Back to the original post...

I have a pretty good memory. I remember nonspecific things, insignificant dates, and absolutely random people. Now like everyone (I am assuming?) I remember the unfavorable feedback more than the favorable one. I lived in a big family (of 13 and increasing) while growing up and was dotted up on by every.single.person. Each family member might have scolded me probably once in their life (besides my Mom, she definitely scolded me more than once :Pand till date I remember vividly when and where they said what! They probably don't even know *this*.

Similarly, I remember every single 'unfavorable' feedback I have received here on the blog as well. I am not calling it criticism 'coz it wasn't. It was only people's honest opinion, which I am fine with, by the way. E.g. Swati didn't like this outfit, Upasna, preferred it when I wore it here than here. m|w didn't appreciate my colors as much. My brother wasn't a fan of this outfit and my husband rolled his eyes a couple of times when I wore this. So on and so forth... So by that logic no matter how many people praise you, the ones who don't, are the ones that you will remember? [and by you I mean me] How crazy is that? I need to do something about my weird memory skills. 

On an un-related topic, did any one of you notice that I had three desi-fied [Indian-ized] outfits last month? I must be missing home, deep-down-some-where! *playing.self.therapist*

Original post here
Original post here

Original post here
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55 comments

  1. Missing home? awwwww... Noo you're not weird. Most of us store "unfavourable feedback" at a better place (So we remember it always):/ than the favourable one :P
    I know I do!
    PS: Looking veryyyy pretty in the desi-fied outfits! :)

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  2. :) hehe I have weird memory skills for insignificant dates/ places and ideas too! And honestly I remember feedback like this all too well as well. You've got to tell me what to do with it, once u find the remedy ;) Also, missing home is healthy! :)

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  3. Oh I forgot, I was checking old pictures recently and I remember this Maryland place! :)I LOVE ur shades!

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  4. Tell me about a good memory! I have one too and I am nottttt at all happy that I do :( I wish I could forget things more easily...

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  5. Negative comments are hard to forget,its the way our human mind works. I like the feather extensions, looks really nice! :)

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  6. I too have the same nature of remembering the unfavorable but genuine feedback/ memories. What matters more is the intentions of the person providing the feedback weather the feedback is to tell you the truth about their choice or to make you feel bad.

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  7. Yes.. true! There are some comments that are etched in your mind..
    I think its safe to say that you tend to remember honest and genuine feedback (good or bad) more than the others.

    Feather extensions! I would love to try it out!

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  8. Wow :) I like the brown dress but i still like your PARATHA...I think in Indonesia we called it roti canai and we would it with curry. So delicious. the recipe of paratha looks simple to make. As you know I am a big fan of Indian cuisine...i love goat curry!!!!

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  9. I think all of us remember negative feedback more than anything else, Earlier I used to get upset about it but now I take it in a positive manner until or unless it's a downright attack on me

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  10. Love your feather extensions! Wondering what's it like when u wash ur hair though:)

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  11. i have a good memory, too and find it hard to let things go sometimes. but thinking of the positive helps :)

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  12. Negative comments.... Errrr... I take it only if its constructive, else I don't care actually!!!
    Celebrate Independance day in Fashionable Khadi, now with mega discount

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  13. grrrrrrrr you sexy beast you!!!!

    and what??? HELL no! If I get 20 comments (in itself a rarity now!) and out of them, only one is a criticism... I don't care!

    Maybe if it was an equal ratio... I have come to realise that there is no pleasing everybody and personalities like mine, polarising, we deeply please a minority and upset the majority so... I have learned not to take criticism personally...BUT... it is important to heed the criticism for growth. Constantly listening to praise creates an unrealistic self-view and unrealistic self-views lead to wanting to audition for American Idol when you sing like a cat scratching a tin roof.

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

    However I only listen to criticism from those I respect. Sometimes it's hard to listen to what is right in comparison to what feels right for you. PLUS there is a huge gender difference involved... eg. the outfits Dr Fab and Bro Fab dislike, I love!

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  14. The feather extensions look amazing!!
    I remember all the scoulding I got (and still get) as well.

    Hope you don't take negative comments to personal! You're amazing.
    Loved all the traditional outfits you've been wearing as well.

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  15. but i do like sunglasses in the first pic <3

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  16. Your feather extensions are really cool!

    Well, at least you've got an excellent memory... even if it chooses to remind you of the negative things :P Maybe it serves to keep you humble and grounded...? *playing Tanvi's therapist* hehe.

    Leia

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  17. HAHAHAHA... Wat a weird way to be featured/mentioned on your blog. But nonetheless..something abt this post made me laugh today (In a good way). Maybe cuz I too remember the "unfavorable" remarks more than the favorable one.

    They r more interesting..n revenge seeking, in our own nasty ways ;)

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  18. Ok so now I wanna be remembered...do I need to dislike something?

    Right got it! I dislike your grumpiness in picture 2! other than that sorry but everything in this blog is unique and I like that. I like the fact that you are not just another copy cat or that you are begging around for followers(I hate that!)

    I like that you are 100% happy with who you are and what you do!

    But don't worry I will dislike every now and again to make sure I am memorable!

    Alba

    www.fashionistaontour.com

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  19. OK, here's my unfavorable one ... I don't like it when you don't smile:):)

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  20. I love the Indian inspired outfits...esp the second one. And I know the humidity and heat in MD/DC is horrible! I feel like I am in a constant battle with my hair when I go there!!!

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  21. You got the feather extensions! :o) They're so long and pretty!

    I remember every negative comment, too, but like you, I simply remember it and don't dwell on it. I move forward with it.

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  22. First of..The feather extensions look awesome..I am almost a covert now to featherism :p And yeah, I guess we tend to remember the negative things more than the positives..Guess..we are a lil too harsh on ourselves that way! Yes, I turn to my kurtis too when I am missing home :(

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  23. I like the feather extensions.
    And I love the indian outfits, especially, the second one. So pretty!

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  24. Hmm...its all abt perspective isn't it! Yes seeing u in Indian outfits is definitely refreshing. :) I love the last one the best.

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  25. It is strange how most people have a negativity bias when it comes to memory. Luckily, as people get older, that usually shifts to a positivity bias, so you'll have that too look forward to when you're older. :) I can totally understand why you would be missing home. I only live 5 hours from my family, and I still miss them often. I love the "Indian-ized" outfits. I think they are just beautiful to look at!

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  26. Love the sunglasses in that first pic.

    xo L.

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  27. I know what you mean - I always remember the negative comments I get about things, even if I've gotten 10 times more positive ones! Now I just try to tell myself that not everyone has to like everything- it's what makes us different and unique. You are stunning and I love seeing what you wear :)

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  28. Tanvi, I'm just the same! Don't worry, i guess its just human! But you're so pretty & fit! You can look gorgeous in absolutely anything! :)
    Your outfit --> LOVE! How'd you get the feather extension ? Can you review it for us ? :D Its so pretty!
    && don't worry about missing home either! :D You'll be here during the Diwalis! Wooot wooot!

    www.arty-heart.blogspot.com

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  29. Love this post! I definitely remember the criticism more than the praise!

    -Ellie

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  30. The feathers look great on you!! I really like all of your Indianized outfits. It's very inspiring!!


    xoxo,
    Mel

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  31. yup! I have a wierd memory for places. I remember the ones I have been to as a small child, with a lot of details! Cant say the same with dates.. i forget imp days!

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  32. I laaaaaaaaaaaabhhhhhhhhhhhh your desi twists!And 'home' misses you too,sweetie!By the way,I'll get an anarkali tailored by 30th but I want to give a few more twists to it.I'm not really sure with the colors.If I mail you the pictures,would you take a look at them once?

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  33. The feather extensions are gorgeous! I think we all should learn to remember praise and take criticism with a grain of salt. Not all criticism is good anyways.

    http://kirantarun.com

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  34. TRUE THAT!!!

    we tend to remember all the unfavourable things in life more than the favourable ones...


    and i LOVE your extensions<3

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  35. I love that you put your grumpy one up. It makes me happy when I see bloggers keeping it real--every day is not a picnic! You go girl!

    xo,
    C

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  36. You look stunning! AND I wish I had your incredible memory skills:-) xoxo

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  37. I'm craving a good dose of India as well :( .... And I think it's normal to remember the bad stuff more than the good. I'm like that too :)

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  38. Like Maryland it is been very hot and sticky in NC too. I am very grumpy these days.

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  39. 'negative' comments only make you try harder and work more. If you'd only listen to all the positive you wouldn't feel the need to improve.
    love that second look by the way :)

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  40. Haha! Sharp 'almond' memory.

    I feel the need to pass a comment..aka unfavorable feedback...so you remember me too :-p

    U are homesick..come to meeeeee!! I'll speak such good HINDI, that will make you feel close to Your BARAT MAHAAN..atleast the part of maharashtra :-p

    Muah! scope of feedback or no feedback..ur always the bestest!

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  41. Hmmmm.....criticisms....heed only if the person involved is worth all that brainwork.... ;)

    Otherwise, I know who & HOW I am....& that's more or less all that matters, for me! :)

    Aah! And of course, I love the Indianised you as much as I love the westernised you!!! Mwaah! <3

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  42. Girl, don't worry about those negative words, let them go. They will only eat away at you, and you are awesome just the way you are! I'm honestly always surprised that people even take the time to criticize a blogger they read, it just seems mean...

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  43. I love you in shorts and the color orange!:)

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  44. i absolutely love your feather extentions.
    they are so original and look great on you!
    Don't think about criticism, people sometimes become mean when they're jealous and they try to let you down, just go ahead and smile :D

    come visit us!!

    twice-asnice.blogspot.com

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  45. You are a fashion trailblazer, so not all feedback can be good. People aren't always comfortable with different (I know this from growing up in a small town in NH), but that is why I love your style!!

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  46. You have an amazing memory. I only remember the good things ;-). Yes it seems you are missing home, but in such a beautiful way. Looking forward to your happy pictures from Maryland. Xxxx

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  47. I hope you enjoyed yourself! I actually live in Maryland and not too far from the National Harbor.

    Check out my blog some time at http://stylelustpages.com!

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  48. Now that you pointed it out, even I agree that I remember unfavorable feedback well!!!
    Specially if someone close to me tells me something negative I dwell on it longer :-/ may be those people are important that's why I remember..
    Will check if random people's feedback is remembered so well or not ( in future) :)

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  49. "I need to do something about my weird memory skills. " -- I definitely wouldn't say your memory is weird. I think it's pretty common, really, to believe/remember the negative over the positive.

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  50. I have a freakishly good memory, too, for both good and bad things. I know what it's like, to internalize a comment fro 3rd grade, if for no other reason than your brain holds on to anything it's ever learned. Good for being a PhD student, bad for when people aren't nice to you. :)

    Love your "desi-fied" looks. With your long hair and great prints you're just gorgeous!

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  51. You know I think it happens to all of us..as much as we say no it doesn't matter..I think it does! And it shouldn't be that way!

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