You would(n't) like it! | Indian Woman Fashion, Fitness, Food, Style & Travel Photography Blog by Tanvi Rastogi

You would(n't) like it!

1:01 AM


7) Question - What is your opinion on having kids or not having them for that matter? I know its everyone's individual choice etc. but I am not looking for a diplomatic answer. I would like to know your opinion personally! [and I am pretty sure you are going to give it to me ;)]

Oh! Such a touchy topic for married women my age (who do not have children). We can sense this question coming our way from million miles away. The Mama Drama never seems to get over! Till the end of eternity, a woman's life and happiness will always be measured against her status of being a mother! 'Coz apparently even being a good human being is not enough. 

One of the fellow bloggers, Caribbean Princess gave a really funny narration of how it all goes down in reality. Though we are from different cultures, I could completely relate to her. And then to top it, she came up with some snappy answers which I wish I could use (but I can't!), to those 'annoying' questions. Personally, I seldom have an option but to smile and ignore ... and silently chant '...this too shall pass!'-'...this too shall pass!'-'...this too shall pass!'

But you (the person who asked this question) are right! I am going to give it to you. And give it to you straight. Here is my answer to your question! I do not think I could have said it any better. She pretty much covers it all. 

And now over to the brighter things ...
Dressed for a clubbing night with Sakshi! :)




 Top - Michael Kors [11']
Jeans - Miss sixty [09']
Pendant - Etsy [11']
Shoes - ALDO [11']
Bag - Rebecca Minkoff [11']

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68 comments

  1. Hey,

    love ur top... amzing things u cover in ur blog and let others in your world.. very proud..
    Tke cre

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  2. Love the shirt T! your skin makes me envious!

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  3. i really do agree with you.
    When (or not) a woman is going to have a child is her decision but the people around you bug and bug more after asking this question again and again.
    We can directly reply to few people but there are few people to whom we can't be rude. I am too facing the same question again and again but i dont bother... LOL

    nice T.. u look fab.

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  4. hmmm yes.. touchy topic! I wont say anything else, u pretty much covered it all! I totally get you though, am still in the previous stage of ppl asking me 'When are u going to get married? It high time now!'

    Looking all bling-y and cute! :) am still searching for a perfect orange or yellow clutch! When will i ever find it!

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  5. That really is a touchy topic. I think everyone has their own reasons for wanting to or not wanting to have children, or maybe not wanting them 'right now', so I say: to each her own! Besides, the more people that *don't* contribute to overpopulation the better, right? (But sadly I am selfish and I can't wait to have a little brood of my own!)

    Anyway, this is a lovely outfit. You know I can't resist sequins! I have a question though... I spot your wedding/engagement ring in one of the pictures and was wondering if you could e-mail me a close-up if you have one on file? I'm still in the process of designing/ordering my ring (yeah... I didn't trust him to do it :P) and I am in dire need of some ideas.

    Hope you had a fun clubbing night!

    Leia

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  6. Love your sequins. Children, love them wouldnt be with out them they are a challenge and a joy. Xxxx

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  7. It's personal choice whether to have kids or not.. people are different and everyone has his right to make choices in his own life.
    So, ignore the questions and just be yourself.
    And, by the way, your outfit is great - the perfect party look :)

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  8. You are so right.
    I adore your top.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  9. I dont think i want children either :S

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  10. while in no way do i feel that having a child could complete a woman or anyone's life...i have to confess that living in India and the society that I'm a part of did play an itsy bitsy role in me wanting to become a mother. You know stuff like everyone in your circle moving on to the next stage of becoming parents, the all frustrating ticking clock, someday wanting to change your mind and have kids but not being able to etc etc. even though i love kids i have to say in all honesty becoming a mom was one of the very few decisions in my life that i wasnt 100% sure of...hopefully i'll be convinced once the baby is in my arm :))

    p.s. your top is ooh la la!!

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  11. Loving the top.

    Aditi,
    http://mysartorialsecrets.blogspot.com/

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  12. hahaha "use" this time :D that really tickled me.

    LOVE this top

    www.kavisto.blogspot.com

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  13. This is really becoming a touchy topic, what astounds me is how some people think it's perfectly alright to ask someone this...work people, random family friends and the like dropping hints on such a personal matter! Trust you to handle it with such spunk and grace :)

    The sequin number is such a delight. Love the nailpaint style!

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  14. Sexy top! :) Love the splash or orange everywhere :D

    www.arty-heart.blogspot.com

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  15. You know whats funnyyyyyyyyy..I've done my nails in the same manner :D Just a different combination :P
    I LOVE your sequinned number, you look as hot as always!
    XX

    http://fortheloveoffashionandotherthings.blogspot.com

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  16. Baby subject is always a touchy one. A few months ago I did a post about it and it was so interesting to hear all the different points of view. You look stunning in that top, darling and I love the orange pop of colour! Happy friday!

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  17. OMG..I absolutely love this post and can totally relate to it, now that we have completed our two years into marriage..:p Wish i could give one of those answers thta will shut ppl up ..lol!

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  18. Definitely a personal preference. I'm a mommy to be and love every second of it.

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR CLUTCH

    With love from,
    MavelousDaling.com>

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  19. Oooh great topic of discussion (and thanks for the link to CP's post. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Lol)

    Anyway, my husband and I are newly weds of about 6 months and we've just started to get that question. ugh. My brother-in-law and his wife just had a baby, and one of Fab's close friends just had twins and of course they want to know...what about us...and we both reply in unison... no time soon. period.Hello!!!! We just got married, can we just enjoy that for a minute? For God's sake! We have so much stuff to experience together and quite frankly, we'd much rather do it WITHOUT kids. They are always a blessing, but they are also EXTREMELY expensive, EXTREMELY exhausting, EXTREMELY needy, and just downright EXTREME. sheesh. Honestly, I am just not ready to start sacrificing MY wants and needs right now and I am fine with saying it out loud.. I AM JUST TOO SELFISH. If I had to trade in a pair of shoes for a pack of diapers, I'd be pissed & resentful. Clearly, I am just unfit right now. I'm okay with that,though. Lol!

    I suppose some of this is a generational thing. We are a different generation of women with different goals and different lifestyles... and no matter what people tell us, that is okay.

    Okay, on to the outfit... I LOVE THAT TOP!!!! I need one like that.. and one in black, too. I also LOVE THAT BAG!

    xoxo,
    Eboni Ife'

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  20. I love that top! Totally bling-tastic.
    Kids? Nah thanks! xxx

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  21. can i have your clutch please ? :D
    it's soooo pretty and gorgeous !


    www.glisters and blisters.com

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  22. I love Gala's post about this topic! Why are people so obsessed with asking this? I just turned 30 and I always get the "Anyone special in your life" question, to which I always answer, "Yes, ME!"
    xoxox

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  23. As an almost 30 year old who's been married for 5 years, we get that question. A lot. It bugs me. A lot. Like my worth equals my fertility. However, I try to keep in mind that people are mostly well-intentioned and to try not to let it bother me.

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  24. @Tanvi,

    I thought if I should comment or not because having or not having children is a touchy subject. But I thought it is worth giving a man's perspective.

    Most women I know, want to have babies but how many of them I know...not a lot. But I know a lot of couples they do not want to have children but once they have it, they just simply love it and preach others to have babies too.

    Also I wrote a post on IVF and I saw several anonymous readers left very passionate comment about their desperation to have babies. See the link below

    http://arealblogger.blogspot.com/2010/10/ivf-stem-cell-research-and-morality.html

    So I am not sure...

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  25. Ha, ha, Gala's post covers it all, I loved reading it:) Yep, if you want a baby more than anything else in the world, then it is time for that baby. Otherwise, don't go there:):) The choice can only be yours. As for me, never wanted a baby, still don't want a baby and 27 years later, life is good:)

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  26. Tanvi,

    Read all pending posts as well as navigated to all suggested ones. Loved your husband series 1 and one which I navigated to first. That reaffirms my belief you both are made for each other. Good joke about mother pointing out son's choice. Having a child is for those involved to decide. But all I will say is it should not depend upon so called " trend " of the day. Parenthood is something which can not be explained but has to be experienced. It completes a couple and brings them a bond, at least as per culture here. One could even adopt but own blood is own. We never asked our children and let them decide on their own.

    Take care

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  27. i am far from being religious, but - AMEN! i just read that entire article by Gala you linked to. i seriously feel like an alien when i tell people i dont want to have kids. ive known my WHOLE life i dont want kids, and have heard over and over "you'll change your mind when you're older...." or "your maternal instinct will kick in one day".

    you know what ive always wanted? a good guy and a dog. i have both of those things! im 28, have a wonderful partner and life, and its just not in our future. and we like it that way! i think its weird when people dont like animals, but hey - who am i to tell them what to like? the same should go for me with kids. if someone were to tell me, "i dont like dogs, i would never want one", i would think - GOOD! dont ever get one! leave it for those who do.

    i mean, there are enough neglected children in this world, if i say im not up for having one, why would someone want to pressure me into thinking id make a good parent?! (not that i would neglect a child if i had one...just sayin' ;) )

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  28. This is such a wonderful piece. A lot of people, including, you have already commented on how I feel so I just want to add one comment: The whole purpose of fighting for women's right was so that women actually have the ability to choose. As women (mother in laws, mothers, aunts, etc) we should NEVER loose sight of that.

    Thanks Tanvi for sharing this!

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  29. gorgeous top and bag. and being a woman, it's always up to you if you want or don't want kids. plus, if you never have kids you'll always keep your figure! ;)

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  30. Ahh, the baby issue. Glad I'm not married because my relatives would be ALL over me about it.

    Love the clubbing outfit. The top is so gorgeous and LOVING that bag.

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  31. Thank you for being honest and sharing your opinion. I don't want to have kids either and didn't realize that was something people would judge me on- it's personal choice and I have many reasons for it, including health related ones- I wouldn't want to be the one to put a child in danger just form y own selfish desire to have a kid. It's dd to think people just assume things. I love your outfit here- you look stunning.

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  32. Aaah! Nothing better than a sequined number for a night out with the girls!!! And I've so got my eyes on that bag! :)

    As for the question......well, I think it's absolutely upto you & Mr. Fab on when you want kids........& until then, people should just stop asking questions & accept our dear old Tanvi as she is! :))

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  33. I loved reading CP's article. Thanks for the link.

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  34. Thanks for sharing my articles Tanvi :-) I see there is passionate discussion here as well.

    I really do think we need to do what is right for us at any particular stage in life. It is no one else's business, well except for the significant other!

    great outfit. I love the orange purse!
    CP

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  35. love ur outfit! especially the bag <3

    i really appreciate that fact that u give ur readers honest answers to our questions and thank you for that :)

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  36. yay i am follower 501 :D

    you look fab..great blog!

    maybe you follow back? ;)

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  37. I knew this answer and I wonder if this too shall pass really works :) I like the nails!

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  38. Husband and I have been married for 6 years, I KNOW what you mean. I'm totally planning to use those snappy responses btw ;)

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  39. Aww, this is lovely,
    I love it!

    Henar ♥
    ... OH MY VOGUE !

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  40. I LOVE THIS OUTFIT!! And yes, that required all caps. ;) It is so glamorous and fabulous. That gold top is enchanting and I love how you paired this outfit with the orange bag (which is the perfect shade of orange, in my opinion). You look stunning.

    And a lot of my friends (married or single) do not want children. I do not want children for at least another five years...and hopefully I will be married by then. Haha!

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  41. Sexy Mama...this top is so pretty, lovin gthe slouchy look and sexy heels...and I keep seeing this purse!! I NEED IT!!!

    Shana
    ColorBlind
    THRIFTERS WANTED LINK UP HERE
    Enter Earring Giveaway HERE!

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  42. Dear God in heaven...

    This is one subject I feel strongly about (which I know you know already!) and so many people in my life think I am crazy. I just don't have maternal instincts. I don't really like children to begin with and I could just never picture having some of my own! Whew. The guy I am with is my best friend and I hope to marry him one day - but I am almost positive he wants children. I wonder if he will be satisfied with just me and a dog or two...

    We'll see! Love this outfit. You are all sassy and fabulous.

    Xo,
    Erika

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  43. wow...i read the links Tanvi, and all of it was so much my views before Seeya came along...

    life does change BIG time...and I always kinda wanted to see you have kids and see how you take it...
    it is difficult...really difficult if you are used to of having your own way and living on your terms...ask me! i had for long churned n don't know what!

    today, a milestone's been crossed..and i always still have mixed feelings...thankfully the happy ones are far more than the grim ones.

    with hubby by your side..you can do what you want and must do what YOU want:-)

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  44. Haha totally know the feeling...I get the hints all the time especially the closer I get to hitting 30 (still a few years yet! :P)

    I have so much I want to do that kids isn't a priority right now - doesn't mean sometime in the future I may or may not want them but it'll be a choice when and if it happens.

    Anyhoo - I'm drooling at my screen at your top - so shiny!! And the nails - reminds me of the dire situation my own are in...sigh :)

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  45. Oh this question irritates me to no end with people I barely know asking me "when are you giving us the good news" hah!!!
    read the links
    like the blingy top

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  46. Ooooh that top is so disco diva!!
    Can imagine so many looks with it...love it!

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  47. Oh My God...your blog has made me addicted ...there's so much to explore..Loved almost all posts till now
    Thanks a ton for viisting me and dropping a lovely comment
    Much Love
    Lipsy
    http://fashionquotient.blogspot.com

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  48. I totally agree with u ! The annoying pressure from parents, family, society .. aarrgghhh ! Let us just live our life ! Its everyone personal decision and no one needs to interfere in it !
    I love your article and all the links .. Good job ! :)

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  49. LOVEEE the top, it's gorgeous! : )
    I had my daughter out of an unplanned pregnancy, she is the most precious thing in my life, BUT i'm not exactly dying to have more kids. I don't think i have the patience for it. I go through phases where i think i want atleast another, but i'm not doing anything about it, so it must mean i dont really truly want it... just my 2 cents : )

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  50. I love your orange bag! And the 2 coloured nails :D Gorgeous girl!
    Come follow my blog hun ;)

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  51. Hello lady :)

    Firstly, I hope to spam you with comments today!

    Secondly, love the bling :) I wouldn't have ever thought of wearing a golden top, ever, if not for you :) Now seriously thinking of buying myself one. They look wow!

    Thirdly, my India trip is never complete without this incident. Gets on my nerves sometimes, but hey! who cares :) One of the reasons I am so glad being abroad.

    I glad you brought up this top! The links really made me chuckle...though I would not say that to anyone! Thanks for that!

    xx
    anusha

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  52. I always feel so terrible when I hear of people asking other people when they're going to have children - I'm hoping to eventually have, but honestly, what business is it of theirs whether you're going to have children or not?! It's YOUR decision, and they should stop harping on you about it!
    LOVE your outfit! :)
    - Laura S

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  53. Your outfit is lovely as always, and I must say I'm totally jealous of your ability to "say it like it is!"

    I have two kids and I probably shouldn't give unsolicited advice, but I don't think anyone should have kids unless they are 100% sure. Trust me; pregnancy and labor are hard, but they are a cake walk compared to parenting everyday.

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  54. I adore the last picture..very pretty!

    -Cris xoxo

    http://www.bisouonline.com

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  55. Aha Tanvi that's this secret and dark part of your personality- clubbing girl!:DDlol Well I love how this girl look like, I am so in love with her sequined top and gorgeous clutch!!!:)
    kisses
    Jelena
    http://glamfabchameleon.blogspot.com/

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  56. What a fabulous outfit love!! There's nothing I dislike about this!!


    xoxo,
    Mel

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  57. Oh, you look so glamorous! Really adore this look! Also, i got the when are you going to start a family question all the time before i had Baby Z. The hubby and I were married for almost 10 years before we decided to have children. We enjoyed our marriage, traveled, i worked on my career and then when i was 31, we decided we would start a family. I don't regret waiting and now i'm loving being a mommy:-)

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  58. I heart the top! So zing zang woo hoo! And I handbag- MY MY! I'm sending fedex to collect it!

    Mama Drama...seriously...i feel like my timer started ticking the moment i finished my seventh phera! Im not exaggerating when I say i've heard people comment right the next day of marriage...."any good news?!!?"

    It gets worse with every passing year...and tackling it becomes harder. It's not like I don't want to ever have babies, but if only they knew how the pressure is putting me on the brink of it...the whole baby-making experience seems intimidating! anyways can go on and on...and so can "they" :-p

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  59. i SO agree with you! I am 26, and I hate ppl telling me things I don't want to know.
    I don't see myself being a Mom. PERIOD.

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  60. love the clutch and all things sequins :)

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  61. This comment has been removed by the author.

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