What's UP? | Indian Woman Fashion, Fitness, Food, Style & Travel Photography Blog by Tanvi Rastogi

What's UP?

1:01 AM

As many of you noticed (Thank You!) that I had disabled the comments for my previous three posts. There wasn't really an agenda to it. I wanted to spend a pressure stress free weekend hence decided to not have comments on my posts. These posts were mostly about information and facts. I didn't think any feedback was required. Well, no feedback is required on my other posts either, but since I am selfish and vain, I do love the attention and compliments.

But what I didn't realize was that having No Comments would be SO LIBERATING! There is no pressure of who is commenting and who isn't and neither do I have to go reciprocate someone's visit to my blog just out of obligation. Well, that's the other thing - Since I expect people to come visit my blog 'coz I visited their's, I feel obligated to do the same when someone visit's mine. However, I really find myself in the pickle when I do not find any common interests between the blogger and myself. I mean come on, I am so over the teen dramas. I do not even care for what's IN and what's OUT, so here I am being forced to type 'great post' and 'nice pictures'.

Don't get me wrong, I think everyone has the right to blog about whatever they want. The trouble is when everyone expects you to 'follow them' regardless of your lack of interest in their blogs. I know what you all are going to say, don't be obligated - be yourself - and blah blah blah - but really I am not made like that. I have an uncontrollable need to be polite and treat others how I wish to be treated, but little did I know that simple mantra of my life would have a Catch 22!

I didn't know I had this in my subconscious up until yesterday but I am going to say it - Please only leave comments if you expect nothing in return. We already have enough people having unrealistic expectations out of us in real life. I'd rather not make blogging about that too. 

P.S. Comments are ENABLED on this post! ;)

Last installment from the London Trip!

Jacket - Tulle [08'] 
Jeans - Miss Sixty [09'] 
Shoes - c/o Wanted

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  1. Hehe I was going to write and ask why I'm not able to comment I think I'm so talkative I had comments even on no feedback posts ;)

    I love these yellow buttons!

    Also, I hardly feel the pressure to comment unless I want to or a post generates some comment. I assume that's what people would want to write for as well :)

  2. well, love your look and yeah i also get bugged sometimes by the follow me following you comments...

  3. I have the SAME issue. Usually, my motto is that if they comment about something genuine and sincere, I will visit their page and at least leave a thank you. However, if I get a comment like "nice dress!" when I have talked for a paragraph about how excited I am for my new jumpsuit, yeah, I'll just reply in my feed. It is also complicated when, like you said, you find yourself on their blog with nothing to comment about.

    I absolutely HATE getting comments like "follow me I'll follow you". That just annoys the crap out of me and I ignore them completely.

    I love the buttons on your coat, though. Adorable!

  4. Love your post..You are soo honest, so refreshing..especially the last line about having unrealistic expectations out of us in our real lives..So true..Let' just leave it for the real world and leave he blog world out of it..I hate the 'I am following you,now you follow me' comments..:p And, the second last pic is sweetttt!!:)

  5. I like the way you think & its normal to be that way! :D
    I love the second picture, you look so cute & naive ! :D


  6. I know what you mean about the implied reciprocity in commenting. What I've decided, and I encourage you to do, is comment only when you're inspired to do so; otherwise, it's a joyless chore that you wind up regreting. We don't owe anyone anything and just because a stranger visits our blog doesn't make them our friend. Friendship requires mutual choice, not just their tiny act of leaving a comment here.

    Love the buttons!!

  7. I was thinking to ask about the comment disabling on the posts.
    The other thing i noticed that you have changed your post timings.

    I do agree with you. Lets not complicate the blogging and comment/follow the blog only if you like to read.But most of the time people do it for expecting back.

    beautiful pics. the first pic remind me the charlie Chaplin style

  8. Ha, ha, comments can get pretty addictive, can't they? I like visiting you because of your fashion sense and great photos. Also the fact that you share something of yourself makes your blog all the more interesting. I only leave comments if I feel like saying something. But I do enjoy reading other's comments and visiting their blogs if what they write sparks an interest:):) So, Tanvi, don't carry that pressure of commenting. The seasoned bloggers get it, some of the new ones may be a little needy:):)

  9. I try to go back and "return" comments, unless they are the "nice blog, follow me" ones, which I find annoying. I also am not a fan of the "thanks for commenting on my blog" comments that people leave...what is the point of those!??? I am always tempted to leave "thanks for commenting to thank me for commenting" posts back, but I refrain... :)

  10. My next post is going to address this too because I have started to see the generic reader gathering comments occur more and more. I hardly receive comments anymore because I don't have a strong web presence communication wise. And I'm not on Twitter. I don't have the time to be hnest, to leave comments on top of reading all the blogs I read...and trying to have a life on top of all that. Sorry but... commenting on blogs comes under 'Luxuries of Time'. Well, for me... because I tend to leave detailed comments after thoroughly reading the post and absorbing the images. I cannot, simply cannot do generic comments... and as you can see brevity is not my forte. :)

    I have always had an issue with comments. I stopped comments ages ago but it shocked me to read a twitter feed's and blog post's comments (the topic was directly about me shutting my comments off) about how wrong this was of me and that it goes against the blogging principle.

    I am not comfortable with this quid pro quo way. I don't have an uncomfortable need to be polite (I'm too old for that!) and I cannot comment on something that I have nothing to say about and I don't have a pressing need to leave a flyweight comment just to show my visual presence, thereby guaranteeing me reciprocity... but I find that leaves to high traffic and low comments (numbers not tone!)...which is fine because I'm rude anyway and hardly ever answer/acknowledge my comments (I don't have a need to acknowledge every comment, I show my gratitude in other ways without commenting on my own blog! I find that odd unless a question was asked but particularly when the blogger answers each comment with a seperate comment... is it all about the NUMBER of comments one gets??)

    Anyway...that is a fab jacket that looks perfect on your long torso and oh sigh, your gorgeous hair!

  11. ...and I just got the title!! Duh!

  12. I did notice that your comments were off on the few previous posts.
    I understand what you mean, however; I feel that this is one way to interact and stay connected with your blogger readers and friends. :)


  13. I must say I love when you write like this. Sometimes you write what I'm thinking and that's why we are friends. I know you had a ball on your vacation. Hope to see you soon. Thanks for being true to yourself and saying what's on your mind:)

  14. There you hun, I totally hear you on the 'why' and am with Frannie too on genuine/sincere comments.
    sometimes we don't always have the luxury of time to respond to everyone, but i, like you do like to treat others as i'd expected to be treated myself.

    Lovin' the London pics, makes me miss home!!!

    I'm terribly excited about one of our Greek channels going Bollywood for the whole of July, with some cool films, just wish i knew what the titles were-they've been translated. I know that Aishwarya Rai is in one of them.

    Ciao Bella,

  15. i noticed it too...ur last two posts ddint have comments option...btw, I love the pendant u got from Nanostyle..lucky u!

    totally agree with you ...when someone comments on my post I always feel the need to go back and do the same for their blog...haha...seems very silly at times..

    hope you had a stress free weekend!!
    P.S. love ur jacket :):)

  16. I totally understand what you mean about comments. I think I often focus too much on how many comments my posts receive, so I can only imagine the liberation of disabling them. If you feel like you want to disable comments, then you should and you owe no one an explanation. This is your space. We're here to see what you want to share.

    You're looking lovely as usual in these photos. I love the yellow buttons - unexpected and cute!

  17. hmm...i hope u dont comment on my blog coz u ought to! Trust me if u dont like what u read just dont comment, coz thats what i do. ;)

    Lovely pics expecially the sepia ones.

  18. I thought it was something wrong with my computer lol because I thought the pendant in the last post was lovely!

    Also - totally know what you mean so awkward when someone comments 'I'm following you follow me back' and you go on to check it out and realise it's just not the sort of blog you're interested in following!

    Much Love
    Roisin Elizabeth

  19. Hmmm.. but i think its easy to identify who's genuinely commenting on your blog and who is not. At least for me its easy. I know exactly who leaves comments because they genuinely enjoy what i write, and who is just 'returning the favour'. Sometimes i feel like saying 'Hey its okay if you dont want to comment. I wont hit you!'. Just because i like someone's blog doesnt mean they have to like mine too....

    In fact i prefer that people who are not interested, NOT comment on my blog at all! Rather than posting 'nice post' and 'great pictures'. That seems worse! So yeah... even though sometimes it becomes an obligation, its best to refrain from doing so!

  20. comment or no comment, I will write cos I want to :) I know sounds rude..but its also great to be related with, to be assured, to be laughed with and to rant with in general..so yes comments are welcome in any case..

    The london weather feels/looks fabulous :)

  21. @Tanvi,

    You can disable comments BUT YOU MUST continue to visit and COMMENT on my post and I have not seen that for several weeks :))))

    Following your style, I have started including link to my blog in the comments that I leave

    Simply Speaking "A" Simple

  22. looking good Tanvi, particularly loving your long lustrous locks-so pretty!
    The last pic is my fav:)

  23. I love the clashing yellow buttons and bright pink lipstick and doesn't London look glorious in the sunshine?
    Like you I was brought up to be polite and well-mannered, returning telephone calls and writing thank you notes for gifts received. I do like to return a comment (if it's genuine) and if the commenter is an interesting individual I'm happy to follow. "Follow me", "Exchange links?" or "nice shoes, enter my giveaway" are ignored. x

  24. I may try going without comments for a day. I can definitely imagine it being so liberating! I do sometimes find it difficult when someone visits my blog and then I have nothing in common with them.

    You look great here! The jacket is so pretty. And I really loved the necklace from the last post.

  25. HAHAHA.... Loved this post. More than anything..loved everyone's comments on this post. So few out there who dont feel the need to please people. Be yourself!

    -Tj ;)

  26. Love this post. I comment if I like the post and I can put my two cents in, if not, I just read it on the reader. I jive with most of your fitness posts rather than the other ones, since I am a fashion retard :)

  27. I love your honesty.But I'd like you to know that I follow your blog and comment on it just because I love it.I'd have done the same had I not been a blogger myself.I'm really thankful that you had visited my blog once or twice and left a comment other than 'Thank you','Nice dress' or 'Great pictures'.:P
    The encouragement from a seasoned blogger like you means a lot for us amateur bloggers.However,I'm mature enough to understand that it doesn't mean that you're obliged to visit my blog on a regular basis.I'd keep following your blog no matter what.And I expect absolutely nothing in return.

  28. I love this post. Sometimes people take blogging a little too serious.

  29. You have said exactly what i cant put down in words. I feel way too obligated towards replying to others comments. Appreciation doesn't have to be in the form of comments, just the fact that I visit your blog should be appreciation enough!
    Precisely why I disabled comments- to reflect on the 'real' readers, not the ones that came so I go back to their blogs.

  30. To be honest I don't have too much of a problem with that issue. Maybe it is because I am not a fashion blogger? I tend to visit and comment on blogs that I love and usually don't feel obligated to comment just because someone has commented on mine. I only feel obliged to respond to comments on my blog or emails from readers as not responding is just rude! And blogging should be interactive.
    But of course I love reading your blog and you always surprise me with your outfits so I keep on coming. Did I tell you I have a girl crush? ;-)

  31. You are so right! I feel obligated to reply to everyone who has left a comment on my blog and I have to say that honestly I would not visit 90% of those blogs... because I have nothing in common with them and I don't particularly care for the content (i.e. if they had not left a comment I would have no reason to be there!). BUT I feel the same way as you do and don't like to ignore people, I want to be polite, so I DO visit and comment.

    It looks like you are enjoying the sunshine in the pics :)


  32. I think I only read one blog that doesn't allow commenting (Turned Out) because I appreciate the option to communicate - otherwise I'm left in a position to just look and go away again. Lots of the big bloggers never comment back - which in return gives leaves me free to comment or not... To sum it up - I like commenting because it's like a discussion with friends, but I don't feel obliged to comment back to everyone who leaves a comment.

  33. P.S. I ABSOLUTELY HATE it when people thank you for your comment on their blog. It might be well meant, but it sounds patronising pointing out that you actually came to them first. To me it's more rude than the much hated 'Follow me'.

  34. Looking really British with the umbrella and coat! Reminds me of the story Umbrella Man.

  35. I have to tell you, I was worried when I saw comments were disabled! That must have been a very relaxing weekend, I'll definitely have to give that a try! Hope you had a wonderful weekend, and I must say I love these photographs!

  36. I comment because I want to. Rarely do I get a response from other bloggers. I try to reply to every comment on my blog, but that's just because I enjoying hearing back from the few bloggers who respond to their comments {plus, its a personal preference...not something I think every blogger should do}. Let me just clarify though, I NEVER expect anyone to ever reply back to me {but secretly I hope that they do!}. :)
    I hate it when people leave comments that just say, "hey I'm following your blog, come check mine out." Sometimes I will, but I have learned not to follow them unless I want to. Do I fear that they will unfollow me because I didn't return the favor? Heck yeah! It makes me sad, but I am following waaaay too many blogs as it is because of that. Now I am picky. I am also purging my list of blogs and unfollowing the ones I only followed out of obligation. :) I say, reply if you want to and if not, no worries! :)

  37. Had to comment on this. Yes I do feel the pressure to return every comment I get or I feel guilty! After all the blogger takes the time to read and comment on my blog, I feel I should return the favour. However it's also the reason I post only 2-3 times a week. I couldn't keep up with the comments.

  38. Wanted to add: I agree with Brit Greek - 'Treat every blogger the way you want to be treated'. Words of wisdom right there.

  39. BRAVO!!!! I couldn't have said it better! I love your honesty. That's what keeps me coming back :-)




  40. I always feel liberated when I take off my comments as well. It's like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Haha! But I agree, most of the time it is nice to get comments back on postings. Because, blogging is mostly about starting a conversation and making connections. :P

    And I also feel obligated to comment back when people visit my blog. Like you, I'm just a polite person and hate being rude. But it's hard, especially when the fashion blogger writes her blog in a foreign language with no English translation. I hate writing those generic "Nice photo!" comments. Ugh.

    I love your coat in these photos. You look spectacular in London. I'm quite jealous. xo

  41. You have no idea how much I appreciate your honesty! I feel the same exact way but have never written about it. Glad that you opened this up to comments :)

    Hope you're having a great week, sweetie. And I just LOVE that trench! xoxo

  42. Holy cow, I love that jacket!

    I am always happy to visit the blogs of anyone who comments on mine, but I can do that because I don't get an overwhelming number of comments!

    I've always been a big commenter. If I take the time to read a post, I like to say something so the writer knows his/her work was appreciated. Of course, it's possible I won't have time to do that at some point....I guess I'll live it up while I can!

  43. The Photography is just amaaazziiing!!

  44. I love your hair color!! I know this has nothing to do with the content of this post... But ID it for me please! Pretty please with cherry on top? :D

  45. so funny but i never even "knew" about the "obligation" of comment blogging etiquette until recently. I just commented when I liked, and "thought" others did the same. OOPS! I don't want people to comment on my blog if they're just doing it to be nice and really have nothing to say. You included. :) I won't take it personally.

  46. haha! i have the same problem only the other way around... feel like i should respect the other persons opinion and this leads to me not commenting at all sometimes....

  47. Love that you speak your mind Tanvii. And I hope you had a wonderful time in London!

  48. I love the bright orange buttons. I've never been to London and would love to make my way there one day.

    I noticed you disable the comments. My suggestion would be to only comment on what moves you. People can tell if it's a comment out of obligation or if you really mean it.

  49. Love the yellow buttons!

    I feel very similar! Since I didn't get on blogger for about 2 weeks It has been really hard for me to get back into the commenting mode. Then for blogs I read consistently I always want to comment on every post! I LOVE that necklace btw... well, I love the engraving in it to be more specific.

    But I don't get nearly as many comments as you do. I can only imagine how time consuming that would be! But I do like the amount of comments I currently get. It is enough to feel like my readers are interested, but not overwhelming.

    Also I always feel like I talk about myself whenever I comment. Sometimes I feel bad about this, but it is me being real, and not just saying something that doesn't mean anything to me.

    Ok, done writing my novel. :) Have a great day!

    Oh PS. That is one reason why I like your FB group! Cuz then I can leave a quick comment without having to do in via the blog comment thing! ;)

  50. LOL! I also believe a blog should be gud enuf to attract followers instead of u dropping comments like 'I follow u, pl follow me back' :)

    Loved those pictures btw! I missed reading few of ur last posts...will try to catch up.

  51. I think you made a good point. I usually comment when I have something to say, ever hello is nice as long as it doesn´t becomes a duty.
    But a blog without comment is just another magazine.

  52. This post made some sense.
    Politness,being humble,pressure,etiquette,obligation.....My God!!!
    This is totally something new for me.But made sense.
    Like the stylish jacket for it's cut,pleates nd pocket.
    London looks beautifull having your picture in the middle!!!

  53. I'm glad you said it coz someone had to! :)
    Looking fab! That bag is gorgeous! :)

  54. I didn't read the content. I visit blogs only for pics and never comment. Found you via fashion bombay few days back and have been going through your old photos.
    I have an uncontrollable urge to tell people what they are. so here we go!

    If your focus is on fashion or outfits, why post close ups?? that too of your face?? set your priorities straight. May be take tips from Kendi?

    You claim to be a fitness freak. Look closely! You are bottom heavy. May be concentrate on lower body for sometimes and then get back to posting pics?

    You might look ever better w/o that nose ring.
    Since you are so honest, I gave you my bit of honesty.

    Don't take compliments so seriously my dear. Blogging is most of the times 'I scratch ur back and you scratch mine'.

    Good day

  55. Visiting via Fashion Bomaby. I usually don't read the content and visit blogs only for pics. I was going through your old photos sometime back and wanted to comment (I have an uncontrollable urge to tell people the truth) so here we go.

    If your focus is mainly the outfit/fashion, why post the closeups?? that too of your face??
    Set your priorities straight? May be take tips from Kendi?

    I have observed your growing arrogance in your recent posts. (Too much pride comes before the mighty fall)

    You claim to be working out regularly. but you are bottom 'too heavy'. May be concentrate on your lower body before posing/posting so many pics?

    I don't like you. seriously! You are ruining the nose ring!! anyhoo, I am sorry but since you are being too honest these days I want to give you my share of honesty.

    P S Don't take the compliments too seriously my dear. Blogging is 'you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'.

    You are capable of much more.

  56. I was wondering what happened to your comments. I thought it was an error. Don't get to stressed out about commenting my dear. I usual only comment if I have something to say. Their is no use commenting just for the sake of it. Sometimes I go without commenting for a week. These photos are getting me ready for my London visit coming up.


  57. I love london ! Amazing photos!

  58. Well I comment because you're a blog buddy. But like I said on twitter I do think it's awesome to be liberated as well.

    Ooh loving the yellow buttons!

    Chic 'n Cheap Living

  59. i dont know why my comment yesterday didn't post! :S

    basically what i said is - i read all of my favorite blogs daily, but only comment if i feel i have something to add to the conversation. or if i really love their outfit and want them to know.

    i would only want the same for my readers - to comment because they want to, not out of obligation. i'd much prefer a meaningful, thoughtful and honest reader than false one.

  60. Aaahhh! Am glad SOMEBODY said it! I absolutely ABHOR those "I'll follow you if you follow me" comments.....I mean, I only comment on blogs which I love reading & only when I feel that I have something to share with that blogger......style divas like you, Dusk, Bella, Sacramento, Sonu, Jasleen, Prutha, Zarna & a few others always inspire & interest me with the substance of their posts, hence I always love sharing my thoughts with you all...... :)

    P.S.: Am in love with that jacket!!!

  61. @ ANKU
    dont like what she does, DONT VISIT HER BLOG

    u JUST said you dont even like her. Then why the crap do u visit?
    Since ur profile doesnt even LINK back to a blog i am assuming u dont have one..so u know a lot how blogging is all about "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours", dont u?

    She puts close ups of her face because she wants to and its HER blog. She can even put a close up of a DOGS behind if she wants.

    She`s not making u pay to visit her blog nor is she forcing you to come here.
    So i dont really understand why you come and visit her. And it seems like u visit the blog pretty often, since u know abt her working out and even her damn nose ring.You were even going thru her old posts!!
    What is the purpose of all this? just plain SLANDER or are u some kind of a stalker

    Trust me
    YOU are capable of so much more

  62. OMG. I feel the same way! The blogger's 'obligation' to reciprocate to every comment gets a little tiring after sometime.

    Maybe that's also one of the reasons why I haven't been blogging a lot these days..

    And heads up to ClassyandFabulous' comment!

  63. also @ anku i know i shudnt be giving u free publicity like this by talking abt u again and again and cluttering poor tanvi`s comments BUT at least she is not afraid of showing her true self to everyone. Every angle "bottom heavy" or not to her nose accessories.

    Whereas YOU just have a blank profile and no identification, and are speaking from under the anonymity that the internet happens to provide.

  64. agree with everything you said here. i am one of the few bloggers who does not comment much,in fact, am not at all active in the commenting circuit but that does not mean that i don't observe and appreciate. but i don't comment for the sake of getting comments on my blog:(
    glad you wrote about this Tanvi.
    btw love the last two sepia toned pictures.

  65. It's an interesting point, how to be polite if the commenter has nothing in common. I have a much smaller blog, so luckily (I suppose) I only seem to get commenters with the same 'niche' interests as me (nothing dodgy! Thrifted fashion and bargain wining/dining/shopping). Mind you, that can also make it hard to comment on someone elses blog.. if everyone else has said the same as you first, what's to say without sounding insincere even if you love their stuff?

  66. Well said Tanvii. Seems like you have struck a cord with the other commenters here too. You were here in London.....I go away for weeks and see what happens. I hope you had a wonderful time. You look wonderful as always. And I see you have been sensible and have your brolly with you. I keep a little one in my bag at all times. Xxxx

  67. I love the first picture. you look like a proper trooper out and about in london town.

  68. i m not a blogger ,, but i compliment if i like the post ..

    and that jacket adores your shape.. you look so cozy.. :)

  69. Love your truth about the "following" thing. Didn't know blogging had so much etiquette! Haha! Anyways was talking about your blog with Shana from Colorblind and how much we love it! Thanks for keeping me inspired.

  70. Love the trench coat! Have fun on your trip! xo style, she wrote

  71. I hear ya lady. Commenting should be because you want to...not because you are looking to gain something!

  72. Amen, sister! Lucky for me, you're my soul sister so we have plenty in common. hehe.

    what we don't have in common is the fact that you've been gallivanting around London and I've never left the damn US. #FAIL My husband, who is French and laughs at Americans who have never been anywhere, has been all over the word promises to take me out of this damn place very soon. London is one of the places on my very long list of places to go. Lol.

    Love that jacket, by the way!

  73. Well....strong post especially for me who is new to blogging......
    Well I believe it must be troublesome....
    imagine you have 75 comments already and I am 76th.....but why you used to feel obligated to reply back?

  74. LOL maybe I am idealistic but I thought people only commented on posts because they wanted to and didn't expect anything in return anyways?? :P

    I know I only comment when I actually have something to say hahah. And now I am going to say it.

    "Nice coat" :P

    No seriously. It is a really nice coat. I've been looking for a nice light coloured trench for a long time!

  75. In this post, I love your hair, the most. Now, I say that only because I don't like the flair at the bottom of the jacket but oh well. I do love the colour! Wish I could visit London soon enough! =/

  76. great pics! great outfit!


  77. You look great tanvi! :D


  78. Mmmm..London!!! You look Beautiful!!!

    Im your new follower!


  79. It's kinda like sitting next to someone on a plane and they wanna chat and you don't. you just wanna read your book or watch a movie. But since we're nice, we sit there and listen and listen. Fun stuff ;) xo

  80. i just luv ur sense of style!!!!

  81. Very nice photographs! London Eye looks awesome!

  82. I can totally feel you on having that sense of obligation, but really it's imaginary. I really do TRY to visit all the comments left on my blog but I don't comment unless there is something I want to comment on. I completely comment on blogs that have never ever commented on my blog and I'm fine with that, I want people to comment b/c they want to not out of obligation b/c I comment that way. Just be yourself. Try to push aside what you think MAY be expected of you; if that makes you a heavy commenter awesome, if that makes you a non-commenter awesome...whatever it is just be that people who love your blog will read it regardless.

  83. it's the first time i visit your blog (i got here through a link about the commenting-issue), but i can totaly relate to what you're saying. on one hand i'd rather not comment back on blogs that i don't find interesting, but on the other hand i want to return the favour. i think i compromise by always leaving a sincere comment.



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