Yes! I deserve it! | Indian Woman Fashion, Fitness, Food, Style & Travel Photography Blog by Tanvi Rastogi

Yes! I deserve it!

1:01 AM

So here's what's on my mind today ... 

I am someone who takes responsibility for everything that happens to me in my life. I never blame God, or my parents or anyone for how things have turned out in my life so far. Luckily, I have had the 'liberty' to make most of my decisions and the 'luck' that they turned out fine. [And anyone, who believes in the concept of 'luck' also has to believe in its main characteristic - unreliability!]

The point I am making is that I believe everyone has a choice to do or not to do something. No one can force you to do anything [unless you are at gun point!]. If you choose to do something you do not want to then you are either not courageous enough to stand up for yourself or have a good reason for doing it [which again makes it - your choice!]  

So when I am ready to take responsibility for the 'bad' that happens to me, it makes me wonder why can't I own up to the 'good' that happens to me as well? I think it is a little hypocritical to label it as 'good fortune' or 'blessings' always. Why can't I just say that - Yes! I deserve it! I sure as hell have no problem saying it when something 'unfortunate' happens. 

I do not mean to sound ungrateful for everything that I have. It is just a thought, that if I am responsible for all the bad, then I should be responsible for all the 'good', equally. 

You know what I mean? No? Well, never mind, just enjoy the pictures then! :o)
Shirt - Banana Republic [10']; Jeans - Miss Sixty [09']; Shoes - Michael Kors [10']
Vest - Gift [Brother 09'] 
Pendant - Gift [Husband 10']

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41 comments

  1. Hmmmm I think that people do think that they deserve the good things but sometimes do not speak it out loud for the fear of being branded arrogant and sometimes they do not believe in themselves so they need to attribute it to fortune or kismat.
    As for choice, yes there is always a choice and blaming others or attributing it to certain experiences in life is also a choice that you make, you can always choose not to let something or someone affect you, right!!

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  2. Reminded me of Julia Roberts, 'bad things are easier to believe in', I think that's why. ...plus, don't they even say 'if you don't know what you want, you don't deserve it', in that case you better deserve what you get too :)

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  3. I love that pendant, it's adorable and you look in the picture next to the necklace :)

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  4. You know I really think it's an Indian mindset thing- not taking due credit for good things that happen to us. We are culturally more inclined to be modest and thank god and other things for good fortune, and similarly blame other forces when things go wrong. I am a BIG believer in taking some personal responsibilty for one's actions and playing some helpless pawn.

    Love the pendant and the layering :)

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  5. superb !!!!!!!!!
    A glass will give u more look.
    pls visit my blog http://www.jidhu.blogspot.com/

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  6. I actually like your thought process. Yes, you deserve it Tanvi.

    I loved the first pic, especially that place. what is it?

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  7. totally in love of your cute necklace, such a great addition to complete your chic look! xoxo from california^__^

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  8. Oh Yeah, You deserve it allll the way! Even the little goodies your bro and hubby have been gifting you..;) Can you see me go green??
    :P

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  9. What if I don't know what I want?!
    Love your shoes!

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  10. of course! We are responsible for the good and the bad.
    Do you have an e-mail address for contact re: the blog? Would love to chat - I'm at cncliving{@}gmail.com

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  11. Well, you're absolutely right there Tanvi. We're equally responsible for all the goods that happen to us :)

    Again, you look fresh and pretty. I love the vest!

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  12. Darling little pendant! I love the whole look, come on fall!! Tanvi, I totally agree, we have to take responsibility for what happens to us, good or bad. There's far too much blame in the world, it's okay to say "It's my fault!"

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  13. Agree with you and you should appreciate and accept all the good b/c you do deserve it :)
    anyway-cute pictures and your brother has great taste! heading over to the other blog.
    naina

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  14. Not a big believer in "luck" myself, so your post totally resonates with me! I think we as a society have too many restrictions imposed on us, and no, I don't think we should feel guilty about owning the good!! That is what we're working towards in this life, isn't it?

    Love this look--big fan os crisp white button-downs! :)

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  15. It's not arrogant to accept that we deserve the nicer things that happen in life, we are, after all in charge of our own destiny at the end of the day. We can't always control bad things happening but how we deal with them is entirely up to us.
    I've only known you a short while but you seem a lovely genuine person and you totally deserve both beautiful pressies you're modelling in the photograph. xxx

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  16. hmmm... I tend to agree with Holly... it can be an Indian mind set plus superstition... don't laugh too much or you'll cry, etc.

    I say this because my father refused to let us think like this. He was brought up with that mindset... to not celebrate his accomplishments or 'good luck'. That it might be seen as being arrogant.

    Humility is important but false modesty is often confused with humility. AND women also find it hard to take responsibility for the good. Whether it's compliments or achievements, etc. Women feel the need to justify. My father stamped that out of me!

    Yes... arrogance is an issue but I have found that those who are rudely arrogant rarely take responsibility for the bad! Only for the good. There has to be a balance.
    ...as you so succinctly put it my darling Tanvi... why are we not 'allowed' to take responsibility for the good?? An artists is not going to shy away from signing her name on her creation!

    Of course you deserve it. Then again I just think you are the bomb so you deserve everything that is good and wonderful and you deserve it because you earned the right to it!

    oooh... I do love this, what I call, photo-journalist's uniform... I know, I know, you're wearing a waistcoat not a photographer's vest but still... I love a waistcoat/white shirt combination...

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  17. Cute vest and that necklace is so pretty! I believe that everyone should ¨own¨ what they have done, whether good or bad.

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  18. I know exactly what you mean, and I totally agree!

    I love your shoes and really, really love your pendant - my grandmother has one just like it, with a prayer inside :)

    Leia

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  19. i totally get it gal, i have the same problem...when bad things happen, i take full responsibility, when good stuff happens, i sorta keep wondering whether i deserve it....

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  20. I'm with you sweetie! Definitely deserve any good that comes your way :)

    And I LOVE your outfit. Adorable xoxo

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  21. If my brother gave me awesome presents like that vest I'd have to marry him...ok that came out wrong. Love the outfit. You look great!

    http://wearingitonmysleeves.blogspot.com

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  22. Cute wasitcoat. This is a nice look on you.

    http://fashion-rocks-idreamtomodel.blogspot.com/

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  23. I totally agree with you! I think it takes a really good love of self to feel deserving of the good things that happen to you!

    I'm loving the shirt and vest combo! Very nice!

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  24. Taking responsibility is a grown-up thing to do. Good job on all who do! :)

    Love the pendant!

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  25. Hey girl great post! You say luck I say blessed. I also think you have good karma because you are a great person. You channel the good side lol...
    Love this look. I'm loving the vest.

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  26. What a wise ol' owl you are! heehee, but I agree that there is always a choice. That's the beauty of life, regardless of our circumstance there is still "choice" in there somewhere-to be determined to survive and have hope in the worst of situations, and in the best of situations to embrace favor and expect the blessings. These are all choices to be made. And only the strong in spirit relish in many of their choices. xoxo

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  27. Love the envelope pendant! And as long as something will make you happy and not cause others pain, I say do it!

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  28. I get what you're saying! I can definitely say that I bring a lot upon myself.

    And, I love the vest! :)

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  29. "You know what I mean? No? Well, never mind, just enjoy the pictures then!"

    You always crack me up. I enjoy your stream of consciousness style of writing. I am also in love with your necklace, but that's another story.

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  30. Hi Tans..
    A very beautiful thought!
    Though a point where I’d like to conribute...
    We are always not taking our own decisions...
    We do certain things coz they’d please us n certain more coz they’d please others....
    So really what appears as choice for some of us, is actually a dead end!
    Not that we are not bold enough to stand by our needs...
    Just that it would hurt so many people in the process that we weigh if it is worth it n give up!

    I hope u never find yourself in such tangles!
    The hair are looking super bouncy n great...
    Kya raaz hain?:-)

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  31. The Vest is gorgeous. All militarisque and classy at the same time.

    A very thoughtful post this one Tans. Me and my friends had a little conversation about this very same topic yesterday and yes you are right, people should not blame others for the choices that they make. I am posting this on my Facebook for all my friends to read. This post is like a piece/thought from my own heart!

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  32. Anything with white shirt and it already gets my attention...nice look.


    Totally agree with your post.

    You shouldn't be modest about all your hard work...atleast not to yourself (and us! ) :-)

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  33. love the outfit...very easy breezy

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  34. I always believe u have a choice..The only choices u dont have is which family you will be born into or if u get a serious medical condition. or when u will die. ur choices determine how ur life will flow..

    I think its an cultural thing where we dont take credit for good things. Its considered arrogant and our culture is a lot about being humble - which i dont get nor do i agree. I not a proponent of being arrogant but acknowledging that this stuff happened becoz "I" made it happen. ..if I can say what is bad about me then why not talk about what's good about me:-)

    Things are different in the work place. People do say I did a, b and c so I deserve the promotion/raise..

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  35. I totally understand what you mean about taking responsibility for things, it's just that most people have the opposite problem that you do! Most peopl want to take the credit for something that happens to them that turns out well, and then when something doesn't go well, they look for anything else to throw the blame onto! Luck, other people, weather, etc...

    I love this outfit though! Menswear-inspired, and that vest is a little like the one I have that I made and wear alllllll the time (so of course I like your version of it!). Plus, I like the little touch of colour in the shoes! It helps add a little jazz to your otherwise pretty neutral outfit!

    Ce qui m'inspire

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  36. hmm... i guesss it makes sum sense to me if u say that we ourself hold the responsibilty of whatever happes to us.. good or bad.. no1 can drive us to do anything i strongly believe that.. and yes fr me i have 2do sum things cos im not courageous enough to get up and say so...
    and as for the good doings that happen to u i think I say thank god cos thats the time of showing gratitude towars the almighty to say that thanks god fr the support etc...
    newyas i love ur pendant alot....

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  37. Haan yaar even I get scared when it comes to taking credit and always try to pass it up but thankfully, those who need to know, know. :)

    Very cute gift-pendant and I love the red shoes! :) You looking smart my daahling!

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  38. whoa. went to the other blog and did a double take. errmm...sorta thought i was somewhere else (?)

    we deserve the good along with the bad. agreed. what if it's all looked at as karma. there are good things and bad things that happen which are out of our hands, but how we react, deal, cope is where choice comes in. rather than putting the blame or kudos in someone else's hands or attributing it to something else.

    what gets me all riled up is when someone makes a choice and the gripes and moans with the end result of that choice. it's like in The Matrix (am i making a movie reference? damn skippy, i am!), you can take the red pill or blue pill, but know that once you make your choice, there's no going back and UNDOING that choice making you just did. ya got to walk the walk and follow that path you've selected...right, wrong, good, bad, whatever awaits you on that path, surge forward.

    i'm gonna be thinking about this all weekend now, lady. lol
    if i come back with a cent or two or three, apologies in advance!
    luv ya for the thoughts and for encouraging thoughts in others!

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  39. I looove your blog. Especially this post - because that's what I believe in too!. Thanks for coming by mine, Tanvi - I do look forward to coming back often. Lovely pictures and great read!!

    Vidya

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