Survival of the selfish'est'11:09 PM
For the longest time I have believed myself to be a 'reasonably' selfish human being. I was a pampered-spoilt-kid. I distinctly remember never giving-in to anyone else's wishes other than mine. It always had to be my way! As a kid, I was a chubby so everyone at home used to pull my cheeks and I guess, I used to reciprocate that behavior by pulling the cheeks of other kids. One day when I was playing in the park, I pinched a friend of mine. Of course she didn't appreciate it and refused to play with me any more. My mother asked me to go to her place and apologize but I refused. I was so stubborn that after a few days, my friend, herself had to come to my place and request me to play with her as I wouldn't give-in! [I am not proud of it, but it does make me *giggle*].
My behavior didn't change even when I grew up to be a teenager. My world always revolved around me-me-me! I would always believe myself to be above everyone else and it was either my-way-or-the-highway. In high school we would often make plans to go out in the evening. If the venue was not of my liking, I would refuse to go. This gave my friends no option but to go where I wanted to! [God Bless their soul! How did they bare my tantrums? And more importantly ... why?!?!]
However, I was never in denial. I knew I was selfish and threw-my-weight-around and some how everyone adapted to me. To my [only] advantage, I was always honest to myself and others, but that's no excuse for my dominating nature!
In fact, I so indubitably believed that I was always right in my way-of-thinking that I tried to empower, this particular friend of mine, all throughout our high-school and years after that. I told her to stand up for herself and be selfish and put herself before everyone else. [Self-Love-Baby-Self-Love!] I still sometimes think she lets people take advantage of her but then now I have accepted her the way she is ... full of goodness!
However the reason I am addressing this today is because I recently saw the tables-turn! My friend was telling me to be 'selfish' and put myself first. In her own words, "Stop being a martyr!' Martyr? Who .. ME? When did that happen? When did I stop being selfish? And when did I start putting my happiness on the back-burner? And how come I didn't even realize it? Phew! Shocker!!! I didn't see my transition from being selfish to 'guilty'. Most of the time I take pride in my honesty but I think I got lost somewhere here. Well, so I guess, it's time to bring Tanvi back!
P.S. If this post made no sense to most people, I apologize. I was probably being my own therapist!
Time for the Outfit-of-the-day
Oooo! You can catch me in action here. I am out shoe-shopping! [I'm in Heaven] Who all like my new red-boots, bought in End-of-Season-Sale? [Say, I]