Mama Drama | Indian Woman Fashion, Fitness, Food, Style & Travel Photography Blog by Tanvi Rastogi

Mama Drama

9:54 PM


Photography courtesy Kate Powers


Any average-Indian-girl probably has a few 'common' stereotypical questions asked from her throughout her lifetime. Some questions are universal and some even coincide with the ones asked from boys, but nonetheless after a point they are all just annoying and
pointless (people should be more creative in their small-talk, don't you think?). For example,

From a Young girl - "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

From a High-school girl - "What subject/major have to decided to take in college?"

From a College girl - "Do you have a boy friend?" (Only in Liberal families though!); "When are you getting married?" (In Traditional families)

From a Married woman - "When are you having a baby?" P.S. Even if you are 21 years old you straight jump to being a woman from a girl, magically!

From a Mother of-a-child - Right after the birth of your first child, "Are you planning for a second child?"

Which is eventually followed by, "Which college are your kids going to?", "When are the kids getting married?", "When are you becoming in a Grand-mother?" .... so on and so forth ....

I am personally at the stage of the "Married-woman-question". Everyone has to ask when I am planning to have a baby. It's like their life will be incomplete without knowing this miniscule detail about my life. It amuses me how everyone thinks they know what I should do in my life and when I should do it as well. Some people have even used the liberty to tell me that I should "use" this time in life, while my husband is doing his Ph.D, to have a baby and I quote, "Get it out of the way." As if it is like doing a load of laundry in my spare time and 'getting it out of the way'. (Get it out of the way and go where? ... I wonder!) So, while I will withhold my opinions about when I should have a baby, I just want to say that it is most definitely not a good reason to have one!

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21 comments

  1. LOL :)

    Love the write up tans!

    Imagine my plight - I am in the stage where ideally (acc to our social set up) I should have been married with at least one kid! I am neither :)

    So now people are having palpitations n hyperventilating!Just dont get it what's their damn problem...parents hyperventilating I can understand...anyone else - dont give a damn! :)

    Enjoyed ur blog...as always. Have to say you are getting better!

    Also, Anita - v cute how you add those lil sobriquets with your name everyday! Luv them!

    Lots a love

    ReplyDelete
  2. Instant Mommy, AnitaNovember 18, 2009 at 3:06 AM

    hahahaha! this is a RIOT tanvi!
    it's like summarizing all the 'CATEGORIES of FEMALEHOOD' (is there such a word :-p) in one piece. Maila Mandal JAI JAI.

    Thanks Anubha :-)

    I am so sure we all have gone through the exact same statements- regurgitated in different languages!

    Lucky for me I have some predecessors in the 'about-time-to-make-a-baby' department, so that helps as a rebuttal. And my second excuse is 'Anish is still a baby himself..blah blah blah. But soon, Aunty..soon...you are very right' HAHA! As long as you agree with them, then they are satisfied and the conversation can come to an end.

    The worst is when they look at your changed size, pat your tummy and say: "beta..baby ho raha hai?"!! Treadmill here I come before I am pronounced a mommy.(How to be a mommy in ten cupcakes!)

    And if you're ever advised 'get it out of your way' please let them know at this stage 'it will be getting IN THE WAY...of all the traveling plans!' :-p Can't wait to see you again!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I so so so so agree to this!!
    It's soooooooooooooooooooooooo true!!
    Everywhere I go it's the baby question... gosh... gets really irritating at times....!
    Ani, I agree .. better to agree and end the conversation as soon as possible...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahaha! Totally agree with you. Just tell people to "mind their own bees-wax."
    Or, if you really want to shock the lady ask her to be the surrogate mother so you can indeed "get it out of the way!"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anu - Like I told you babes! You are not missing out on anything. No matter when you get married your life will continue to be the same for the rest of your lifetime. Unlike right now when you have options to change it in various ways! And you are absolutely right in not giving a damn .. Love ya back!

    Ani - You know how hard it is for me to nod-along with people and NOT say what is actually on my mind. But I am learning to keep my mouth shut and just flow with the flow ... See you soooooon my love *wink*

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nandini - We are all indeed in the same boat, babes. Btw, did I tell you I am glad to read your comments everyday :o) Thanks!

    Meetu D - Hahaha .. I will probably try that on someone I don't like .. then I don't have to worry abt offending them at least :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rasneet Anmol ChadhaNovember 19, 2009 at 12:13 AM

    Totally agree...guess all of us are sailing in the same boat :o) but love what uve writen...I got back to India only 2 days back n ive been asked this question atleast a 100 times..I mean i wanna shout it out to all such people...please gimme a breakkk...we havent even completed an year of marriage yet :P Anyways i just prefer to ignore and for u lady...well written...well thought n well followed :o)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Look who's back :o) My compliment-giving-partner-in-fitness-crime! HEY!!! How was your time away from land? haha. Well Thank You my lady! I know WE ALL are indeed in the same boat :o)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Rasneet Anmol ChadhaNovember 19, 2009 at 12:14 AM

    Well this time around... my time away from land was indeed very tough ...with husband working for atleast 20 hours in a day...pathetic unhealthy food...stormy weather and a series of tragedies....but i guess its just my die hard positive attitude that keeps me going :o) face all challnges with a smile..so overall an ok tour...anyways ive seen ur pics n lemme tell u... ur face is glowing so much n u look so hot...specially in those London pics...needless to say the new haircut suits u very well n u carry it so well.....i see u in kareena every time i see her on TV...funny but then it always happens....hehe..anyways way to go gurl...ur the fittest person I knw in real n so proud of u :o)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Rasneet - Thank You! Thank You! Talk to you soon, online!

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG!!!!!! Lol.... this one is great Tanvi.You are funny

    Your Trainer, V :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Veronica - Heheh ... Thanks V :o)

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  14. haha...the small talk goes up 1 million times when you meet people in a wedding/ any such gathering. It's so stereotypical, I swear!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey tanvii,

    As i read all your blogs slowly aqnd gradually.. its like a revelation.. and the topic discuss above reminds me of all the people (specially elders in India.. no offence).. have only one thing in mind.. but who decides at the end of the day " when to start a family and when not to..." if getting married is license to start a family then when do we get license to live our life according to ourselves..... phew... anyway struggle is on..God bless

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  16. HAHAHAHHA! This is SO true! I loved this post! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I totally agree with you. I have been hearing that for awhile. Although after 9 years of marriage I suppose it's justified (especially since I am South Asian). Frankly, people should have children after careful planning. To do so otherwise leads to a disgruntled life. I meet lots of people who have children (they didn't plan for) and are totally miserable. My hubby thinks they want to spread the misery, hence the peer pressure to pop out babies.

    ReplyDelete
  18. We Indians somehow just fall into all the stereo-types. I can't say I understand your ordeal. But, I have faced many such questions, where one always wonders if saying "Mind your own business, Biyatch" would be the right thing to say or not. (Not ever to be used or even thought off when mommy asks, one gets in to lot of trouble, it happened to a friend so i know what follows).

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  19. hw cum u write everything sooo interestingly...i hate wen realtives ask these questions but sumhow now enjoyed reading in ur style u rock babes...

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  20. I totally related this with my life. When we are not home, it ok but everytime we visit home, every third person ask the same question. DOnt know why people cant live their own life and try to bug into other's life.

    ReplyDelete

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