Day 52 - Conduct of Life | Indian Woman Fashion, Fitness, Food, Style & Travel Photography Blog by Tanvi Rastogi

Day 52 - Conduct of Life

9:06 PM

Manners impress as they indicate real power.

I really find good manners, charming. (Well, not to the extent that they become annoying due to unnecessary courtesies) ... You know, like polite conversations, always knowing the right thing to say/do in difficult situations, holding your poise even when it's absolutely impossible, men being gentlemen, everyone behaving like human-being (to expect the least) etc. So, you can say that I am not a fan of rowdy comedies; Indian or American (I like situational humor), and wish to look back at my own life as 'what fun I had' instead of 'oh! I used to be crazy and I don't remember half of it'.

Manners are factitious, and grow out of circumstance as well as out of character.

However, don't people lack even basic manners, lately? (Or was the world always like this?) It's nothing new that has occurred in my life and neither am I mad at anyone ... It's a random thought that struck me 5 minutes ago (while I was pondering over today's blog post) that so many people I know are ill-mannered and/or lack common courtesy.

Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.

Personally, I do not believe in holding any grudges or keeping a tab on who-did-what. I am more of a forgive & forget kinda person ... (I do remember to mind my back at all times!). But I can't forgive someone till he/her apologizes, now can I? I believe in giving everyone a second chance too ... but ... after that it's Goodbye! "Don't come back coz you are not welcome anymore, simple!"

Manners require time, as nothing is more vulgar than haste.

However, the kind of manners I am talking about here are very simple ones - like reply to an email, thank someone when they say a kind word, acknowledge polite gestures and so on and so forth. Instead, what I observe around me is pure ignorance and disregard! The common excuse for all is "Oh! I am so busy", "... in a rush", " ... have no time", etc. These are not reasons for being impolite, these are proof of inconsistent upbringing and lack of self-awareness. What you probably need is better time-management and ... manners, of course! :P

N.B. All quotes are by Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Week 8 | Day 52 | 7th October 2009

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5 comments

  1. And what about the lack of punctuality - and apologizing for that? I think, we are stuck in a time machine, and unfortunately, the "code of conduct" has evolved :)

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  2. I'm (half) Sindhi, Anita :-pOctober 8, 2009 at 3:00 AM

    I think you are right. The time has come where the mannerisms are degenerating. Somehow everyone has a 'free pass' to get away with not being polite. And sometimes out of 'tit for tat', we end up doing it, too.

    Simple example, upon recognition, you smile at a friend or (stranger) and they simply turn their head around. Next instance, they repeat the same and moreover fail to acknowledge you. LIKE WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU THINK I AM DESPERATE TO BE YOUR FRIEND? I'M JUST BEING COURTEOUS. It's so infuriating. Seriously. And this is quite common here. I used to get upset and then annoyed. Now I have a guideline. I give two chances with politeness. The third time that person better not EVER expect me to smile at them unless they initiate SINCERELY. I'm sure at those times, someone who might be around or observing would think I lack manners. BUT THEY STARTED IT! :-p

    Oh yah punctuality too has been taken for granted and mostly apology is replaced with 'I'm Sindi na??!" :-p

    Other tiny mannerism irritations: not saying thank you when letting a door open for someone, acknowledging politely when someone has helped, or simply a sorry if you run into someone.

    Let's hope that change can happen and manners still hold importance to the 'new' generation.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Emily Post, er...Tanvi,
    I like good manners too. But it's very hard to teach them to little boys because TV shows for kids are full of cool kids who use ruedness and sarcasm as a mark of coolness. Any ideas?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mannerism are practiced only if u think nd believe in that.Either u learn it at home or in school but follow it only if u like it.
    I agree it hearts and irritates when we come across impolite,unthankfull and unconsiderate people.Without changing much of myself i like to ignore them.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Red Ginger - I know... may be conduct has changed and we haven't. But I didn't get the Memo, did you? :o)

    Ani - I know what and WHO you are talking about. We are THE CHANGE ;)

    Meetu D - I think instead of aksing me may be you shld ask my and your parents? I think they did a decent job in instiling manners in us, don't you? :)

    Mom - You can be silent and ignore. I think it comes with age ... but somethings are just too rude to even ignore!!!

    ReplyDelete

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