Mental Purging

This is my fourth trip back home after marriage and each time I come back I have to try 'that' much harder to not give people a chance to say that I have been 'Americanized' [I promise you, that it is never said as a compliment but as a worst kind of insult]. However, slowly I am realizing that I have, indeed, been "Americanized"! 

Once you are used to live an organized, simpler, and independent life, it's hard to live any other way [specially a disorganized and hectic way]. It's not the traffic, neither the dust, and not the weather that bothers me - It is the people's thoughts and their inability to simplify their lives that frustrates me the most. Even before I make an attempt to reason or discuss the usual daily lifestyle [of people around me] I am greeted with hostility and the disdain look which can be translated to "Oh! You Indian-turned-American!"

Of course, if you ask me, I would not agree. I am an Indian and I am proud to be one [I shouldn't even have to spell that out]. My sensibilities, emotions, and behavior is quite a reflection of my conservative "Indian" upbringing. I would not even go as far as crediting my international exposure to be a reason for my way-of-thinking. It is simply who I am and who I have always been. While I can be quite self-righteous and full-of-myself, I do believe that I some how acquired [or may be inherited] the skills to simplify life and live hassle-free. [Only if there was a law for people to abide by my rules *wink*]  


I would love to go on and on and on and explain my point further but before I do that I realize that I better get my life on track, first and preach later. However, I cannot promise that such thoughts would not strike back, again in future posts [As you can see, I can't help myself!] 


Meanwhile everyone - KISS! [a.k.a. Keep it Simple, Stupid!]


Outfit-of-the-Day

Me and Hongmi had a Movie date. It was a nice breezy afternoon, hence simple denims (of course skinny) with a blue top and light jacket. 

The only part of the outfit which is probably standing out are the cute-red peep toes. I think it's a simple way to accessorize an 'over all' simple outfit with bright color shoes. 

Hongmi is polishing her photography skills on me and I am happy to oblige ;) Incase anyone is wondering we went to see 'Dear John' at the movie and got tortured. Please skip it if you can, because it is a pure waste of time. Instead we went back home and saw Emma on DVD. Gwyneth Paltrow is a delight to watch on screen. Also, I could helplessly related to the character of Emma. [Jane Austin was a genius]  

Unfortunately it is not clear in any of the pictures, but this top has interesting neck and back. Although the top is absolutely plain, it's the stitching that makes it attractive. Oh! well in another outfit ensemble, probably! 


Adios Amigos! I shall be back, 'coz I am addicted to blogging [read: mental purging]!

Survival of the selfish'est'

For the longest time I have believed myself to be a 'reasonably' selfish human being. I was a pampered-spoilt-kid. I distinctly remember never giving-in to anyone else's wishes other than mine. It always had to be my way! As a kid, I was a chubby so everyone at home used to pull my cheeks and I guess, I used to reciprocate that behavior by pulling the cheeks of other kids. One day when I was playing in the park, I pinched a friend of mine. Of course she didn't appreciate it and refused to play with me any more. My mother asked me to go to her place and apologize but I refused. I was so stubborn that after a few days, my friend, herself had to come to my place and request me to play with her as I wouldn't give-in! [I am not proud of it, but it does make me *giggle*]. 


My behavior didn't change even when I grew up to be a teenager. My world always revolved around me-me-me! I would always believe myself to be above everyone else and it was either my-way-or-the-highway. In high school we would often make plans to go out in the evening. If the venue was not of my liking, I would refuse to go. This gave my friends no option but to go where I wanted to! [God Bless their soul! How did they bare my tantrums? And more importantly ... why?!?!] 


However, I was never in denial. I knew I was selfish and threw-my-weight-around and some how everyone adapted to me. To my [only] advantage, I was always honest to myself and others, but that's no excuse for my dominating nature! 


In fact, I so indubitably believed that I was always right in my way-of-thinking that I tried to empower, this particular friend of mine, all throughout our high-school and years after that. I told her to stand up for herself and be selfish and put herself before everyone else. [Self-Love-Baby-Self-Love!] I still sometimes think she lets people take advantage of her but then now I have accepted her the way she is ... full of goodness! 


However the reason I am addressing this today is because I recently saw the tables-turn! My friend was telling me to be 'selfish' and put myself first. In her own words, "Stop being a martyr!' Martyr? Who .. ME? When did that happen? When did I stop being selfish? And when did I start putting my happiness on the back-burner? And how come I didn't even realize it? Phew! Shocker!!! I didn't see my transition from being selfish to 'guilty'. Most of the time I take pride in my honesty but I think I got lost somewhere here. Well, so I guess, it's time to bring Tanvi back! 


P.S. If this post made no sense to most people, I apologize. I was probably being my own therapist! 


Time for the Outfit-of-the-day

Enjoying the pleasant day. Trying to play with the contrasts here, yet keeping it simple! 

I love this top. It has very interesting stitching on the sleeves. I have paired is with my 'fav' cigarette jeans. I am wearing my silver pendant again. The shoes and bag matches and the sparkly pink belt is there to help emphasize on the 'tiny' waist. 

Oooo! You can catch me in action here. I am out shoe-shopping! [I'm in Heaven] Who all like my new red-boots, bought in End-of-Season-Sale? [Say, I]

Finally saw it!

Rachel Getting Married 


Finally managed to rent the DVD and see the movie.  Everyone who had seen it recommended it and the critics [who are often harsh, than not] also couldn't stop raving about it last year. My verdict? Luuurrvvve it! What an amazing movie! The opening is grasping, the story-telling is relentless, and the end is moving. Perfect Drama! 


Anne Hathatway's portrayal of the disturbed-flawed-character of Kym is absorbing. No surprise she got the nod for an Oscar nomination here but Rosemarie DeWitt who play's Rachel is equally convincing and intriguing. What worked for me in the movie is that I could relate to both sisters in different situations. Kym's obnoxious behavior which is an obvious cry for help and Rachel's martyr-like personality waiting to explode. I might clarify that I am neither of the two 'exactly' but I felt I 'could be' ... if that makes any sense! 


I do not have a sister, thus would never understand the sisterly-rivalry, but this is how I always assumed two sisters would behave. Loving, yet always competing and waiting to out-do-the-other. The constant bantering between the sisters, divorced parents, complete dysfunctional family = perfect cinematic drama. An afternoon well spent ...


Over to The-Outfit-of-the-Day!

The weather was pleasant and we had an amazing evening planned with friends to say Adios to February. I wasn't cold enough for a jacket and neither was warm enough for dresses. So I guessed a perfect time to wear my coral-zipper sleeveless sweater. Pair with my age-old-favorite leggings and comfortable shoes. 

Focusing on the zipper-detail here. P.S. Zips are in now-a-days but are lucky enough you might find that you already own something in your wardrobe. I have a rule of thumb to discard any clothing that I have not worn in over 1 year. However, there are few pieces like sweaters, lace skirts, dresses worth saving because, trust me, they always come back in fashion! [and I have only been alive on earth for less than 3 decades right now]

I decided to keep it simple with one black beaded string and one bangle. The sweater it self was enough to grab attention [...and keep it there ;)]

And this is me, ready to go Vrooom-Vroom, and enjoy my last weekend of February! :o) 

Color Me Colorful

Alright, now since February is over, the remaining of the year is going to be a draggggg. Blah! I have been nudging my brain to write something but somehow I feel 'thought-less' ... well, not literally, just me-got-no-thoughts! Hence, gear up for some more random rambling. 


Last weekend, we (Me and husband) went out with few friends. The discussion drove itself in the direction of immigrants and their behavior. I have been an immigrants in 4 countries, in last 12 years. I never understood people who made stereotypical (demeaning) remarks about the country (and it's people) they have migrated to! People are full of complaints. They expect full acceptance from the citizens while behaving as if they were still in their own home-country. They expect access to all rights [on human grounds, is it?]. They except to breed their own clan on the new soil without much rules and restriction from the 'new' country. And my favorite if when their children are born and brought up in the 'new' xyz country and yet they expect them to behave 'exactly' like the children in their native country, probably would. Bizarre, I say! The bottom line is that everyone wants to move on towards the greener pastures yet face no social or cultural challenges. [Ever heard of the phrase When in Rome, be Roman?] 


Anyone with common sense would either fight their cause on their own soil or adapt to the new environment (with humility, I might add)! With time and experience I have learnt that majority of people, after all, do not think like this. I am sure there are many anthropological reasoning for their behavior but I fail to see them. To me they are plain olé hypocrite. 


Now time for the Outfit-of-the-day! 

It was a beautiful Sunny afternoon. We had amazing breakfast and then drove around to find perfect spot to hangout and enjoy the sun! [Can always count on my husband to take my 'fun-yet-silly' pictures :o)]
  

I have an interesting story to tell about this multi-coloured top. One shopping day, I was dressed in layers and layers to combat the cold and wind of London. I entered this fabulous store (where I can always  depends on finding something stylish) and picked this top to try but it was not in my size (or let's say only the large'r' sizes were hanging on the racks). So I asked the sales guy, who was gay [I will tell you in a moment why that is relevant] to help me find my size. He looked at me and said, "You are what? 6 or 8 [UK Sizes]?" I knew that was my cue to take off my jacket. He exclaimed, "Oh my God, You are tiny! You must be a 2." I was size 0 but I picked up size 1 because I already knew I wanted to style it with a shirt! So a 'gay sales person' at a high street London store calling you 'tiny' is the compliment of highest order! (Anyone who has lived in London, would agree...)

O! The lovely grey-high-heel-booties. They go with everything. Grey is one color which is as good as black in most situation (according to me). 

The last but not the least, one for fun! When in doubt what 'silly' expression to make "Think Sridevi" and it will come naturally. Haha :o) [Sridevi is a legendary Indian actress] 

P.S. Please feel free to drop me ideas to write about on the blog, I am kinda running thin...

Oh! and Happy Holi!

For Married Women, only!

My favorite Married Couple - My Parents :o)

When I was a 'newly-wed-woman' (already seems like that was centuries ago) I could never understand why were there so many jokes and innuendos focusing on marriage and husband/wife [I still don't!]? And why were 'married-people' telling these jokes? I would very easily get offended if/when someone tried to make a degrading statement or joke about 'married-life' [Not necessarily focusing on me]. I would see their attitude as 'annoying'!

However, now I have become a little more patient & [a little] wise. I do not get offended by such people or their jokes, anymore. I believe that's probably their perspective and definitely the condition of their 'married-life'. So as long as it's not directed at me or my life - I don't care! But I have to admit that sometimes the jokes are 'truly' funny and after almost 3 years I can finally manage to laugh along with them. 

Few days back I was flipping through the Glamour magazine and I found some very wise advices for married women. I enjoyed reading some of them, so thought may be other's will do too:

• "All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand." - poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox
• "Separate Bathrooms!"
• Mother to her daughter,"Don't talk to me about the fights you have with your husband. Because then you guys solve it in the bedroom, and the next day I'm still mad."
• "Let there be spaces in your togetherness." - poet Kahlil Gibran
• An old lady on how she stayed married for so long,"We never both fell out of love at the same time."
• "When you decide to commit, you've got to commit. Can't cheat. Wanna cheat? Can't cheat. Dying to cheat? Can't cheat. Can't wait to cheat? Can't cheat.  Some guys might have to go to rehab to not cheat. But you can't cheat… Know why? Because you're going to get caught. I don't care who you are, even if you're 007, you're going to get caught. And you don't want to get caught." - Chris Rock
• [Last & my favorite] "Whenever you are wrong, admit it; whenever you are right, shut up!" - poet Ogden Nash

And now it's time for The outfit-of-the-day. Yay! [Follow the Read More]